Transitions…Endings & Beginnings
Posted by Jeannie Fennell on February 11, 2010 · Leave a Comment
ENDINGS, BEGINNINGS & THE SOMETIMES DARK HALLWAYS IN-BETWEN
This month we celebrate Black History month and next month, Women’s History month. So I have been thinking about my own history as an entrepreneur and woman in transition and what it means to me.
I notice that I want to “re-live” the successes of the past and hold on to them as a guide for the future. And even though I know that the times are very different now, I find it challenging to change my thinking about my history and look at the new world I am in.
I want it RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes, what once “was” gets in the way of being in the present. Having to change so quickly is upsetting and I want what was secure. I like beginnings but am not so sure about endings. And I really don’t like the dark hallways in between,
I want things to change and change for the better RIGHT NOW.
The Grief of Endings.
Recently one of my clients brought this type of experience to my attention as she cried over having to close part of her previously successful business. She said she kept thinking of how it used to be and was angry and sad that it is gone and said she could not imagine having to starting again.
I realized that she is going thru a grief process where anger and depression are normal stages and that until that is complete, she cannot move on.
We think of grief as only appropriate when a person dying but when part of our work or any other part of our life ends, it is a great loss …not only the money but the dreams, the security, the sense of safety and the identity.
But in order to have beginnings, we have to have endings so I suggested that she create a ceremony to release her business.She could then honor the tangible as well as the intangibles that her business gave her .It had given her much and it deserved an honoring at the end.
Rituals help us let go
Rituals and ceremony can be very powerful in creating appropriate endings…giving us a way to respect our history and mark an ending while celebrating what was.
She did create a ceremony where she burned some business cards, and other symbols, buried the ashes and then planted flowers there. And yes, she cried but it was cleansing. She said that it was a major step in releasing and going forward. Although grief is a long-term process, she created an ending so she can have a beginning…and her action moved her of out the dark hallway.
Most of us need to do the same in some place in our lives.
And as more of us have to change our work & our lives, it is important and freeing to release the old ways with gratitude and yes, some tears.
In honoring our history, we can appreciate it without it weighing us down.
So if your work or your life has “transitioned”, bless what it gave you and set yourself free to create a new path.
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