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My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun

tamela — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 14:26:13 +0000

Wow! It was a blast to be on “live” TV last week and your good wishes made it even better.

I felt so supported and like you were all there with me

I’ve gotten many emails & calls from folks who were sending good wishes even if they didn’t see it or read the follow up column in the Charlotte Observer on 9/19.

It’s really fun to have a “Fan Club”…even for a few days! Thank you.

Here’s the back story.

Bobby Sisk

Bobby Sisk, news anchor on WBNC, channel 36, called me Tues. morning about 10 to see if I could do the interview. He asked me to be at studio by 3:45 that afternoon with somewhat sane answers to the questions he sent me. I’d been taped for tv before but this was live…no way to edit what you say.Gulp!

Of course, it was an already packed day and I wasn’t sure how I could fit another thing into it but somehow it worked out.This was a powerful motivation to get organized!

It was very interesting to see how the studio really looks and to be “miked up”in the “green” ( its really grey) room. Bobbie Sisk. the anchor, was so helpful and relaxed that he made it very comfortable but I didn’t remember what said till I saw the tape.Seeing yourself on video is always a surprise.More makeup next time.

And then he wrote about our conversation in more depth in his column on job search in Sunday Observer.

And his follow up email to me said: “Thank you- you are great to work with!”. What a classy guy !

I learned a lot in the experience and will be sharing that in regular newsletter soon.

I hope the information was useful.Several people told me I need to share this kind of info more so I will think about ways to do that.One person suggested a podcast, anther suggested public tv.Hummm….Your suggestions on that would be helpful & apprecaited.

So thank you to all of you & to Bobby for sharing the fun!

LET FREEDOM RING! Celebrate the Sparkles….

Jeannie Fennell — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:26:06 +0000

Free at last! I’m sure that is what I thought when I ran away from school in the first grade. I didn’t like all the rules and the kids were mean .So I just got my coat and started to walk toward home even though I had never walked that route before. One of my neighbors picked me up and took me home but it was several days before I went reluctantly back.And that was after the school principal came to my house to talk with me.

So you can see that the need for freedom has been with me a long time and why celebration of it makes the 4^th of July a favorite holiday.

Founders of Freedom

I really identify with our country’s founders who wanted to have a say in how they lived their lives and were willing to fight for it. And like them, my need for that has often gotten me in trouble. But not trying to be free seems much worse.

And I also love how this holiday is celebrated with the simple joys of eating food outside, watching parades, and being dazzled by fireworks. It is all just relaxed fun even though the struggles we are honoring are often not.

Celebration and Fun

And so this newsletter is just for celebration and fun. I ‘ve had a good time coming up with my “Declarations of Independence” and “Freedoms”. I hope you will make up your own and share them with me.

Jeannie’s Declarations of Independence

* I hereby declare myself free from Social Media Madness. I’d rather have a real strawberry than a plastic blackberry; a hug from a real person is more valuable than a thousand “likes” from people who don’t know me, much less like me.

* I hereby declare myself free from the “Health Numbers Boogey Man”. All the scare statistics about calories, cholesterol, weight, etc. try to make me fit into an “average”. So I’m not average and I’d rather treat my body as the amazing gift that it is instead of squashing it into someone’s need for numbers.

• I declare myself free form the “Doom & Gloom” Crowd: I can be depressed on my own, thank you, and don’t need to hear “Aint’t It Awful” again. Spending time & energy paying attention to that keeps me from appreciating what is good and from doing what I can to change things. And besides, it is boring.

And being free of all this gives me time to delight in the simple, corny things (yep, that’s me) that the makes life so good and worth celebrating:

-Freedom to eat what I want when I want it, like ice cream at 2:00 am

-Freedom to read sleazy novels with no socially redeeming plot at all

-Freedom to turn up the music and loudly sing off key

-Freedom to say silly, goofy things to the people & pets I love

And most of all, freedom to write this newsletter just like I want it and to say what is in my head and in my heart. And know you will receive it in the same way. And you will join me in celebrating this amazing country that, in spite of all the challenges, was founded freedom for all.

And as we celebrate this, be sure to enjoy the delicious, beautiful sparkly fireworks inside all of us, just yearning to be set free.

Please pass the watermelon!

Don’t Fence Me In

Jeannie Fennell — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:40:51 +0000

WONDER WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE?

Ever had the experience of where you realize that something you that used to make you feel good …an outfit, a place or even a person…don’t seem to fit right or feel as good as they once did? What happened to it while I wasn’t looking?

I have been having that experience lately.

When this happens, I usually try to deny it or try to make it work by putting in lots of effort to recapture what I am losing. I will make it work, I say…which of course is just asking for more frustration but then, I’m a slow learner.

Often I felt naked & vulnerable as it feels like things that have changed things are the things make me feel secure. I resent that I didn’t have a choice that my “blankness “ are going w away.

With lots of resistance...

It started to happen last fall when I had some health challenges and was advised to slow down some and not work so hard. I knew it was good advice and although difficult to put into practice, I liked the idea. And thought it would be great to have more time for myself.

So with some (lots) of resistance, I began to let go of some projects and obligations.

When winter came, I enjoyed some hibernating but still kept my long list of “to dos”. The quiet voiced kept asking me, ” Who would you be without all the doing?” It was scary to think of that.

But by spring, I began to get restless and felt “fenced in” by all the “musts & shoulds” I had built around me.

With reluctance, it began to occur to me all the “duties “ gave me some identity as well as kept me very busy with no time to look around.

The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.

And while that was very good for a long time, I could also see that it also kept me in one place. My protection “fences” had, in some ways, became barriers. The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.

I began to see that I needed to slow down so I could pay attention at first. But now I needed to clear some room to grow…. I needed more wide-open spaces and fewer fences.

If every day is filled, it leaves little room for creating & exploring.

What would my life be like if I could let go a little and open space for new and old dreams to appear? And if I could allow myself to feel unsure and naked a bit, maybe I could take down some of my “fear fence”…and I might have a great new view!

So now as I take baby steps in exploring some new areas, I like playing the old cowboy song, ” Don’t Fence Me In “ and the Dixie Chicks wonderful song celebrating “Wide Open Spaces” .

They remind me that it is only in outgrowing our fences, that we are truly free

IT’S MY STORY AND I’M STICKING TO IT.

Jeannie Fennell — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 15:33:36 +0000

“People are like stained glass windows.Sparkle & shine when the sun shines but when it is dark, you only see the beauty if there is light within.” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

History is really on my mind now with Black History month just passed, Women’s History in March this month & in own birthday coming up soon. All of these make me reflect what history and heroes really are. In the midst of living our lives we don’t often see the things we are doing with much appreciation of they really mean.

For many of us, when we think of our own history, it appears to be a story of missed opportunities, wrong turns and failures.Yet when we learn about others people’s history,we often see their struggles as very important parts of the story. But of course, living thru those challenges doesn’t seem very inspiring at the time.

Just doing what needs to be done.

Just doing what needs to be done seems very ordinary when you are the one doing it but very important to the people it affects. Rosa Parks said she just wanted to sit down on the bus after a long day at work. Betty Friedan just wrote a book ( The Feminine Mystique ) about housewives like herself that help to start the Women’s movement

Her “cloudy lens” story.

Recently a client gave a great example of how our own views are often cloudy.

She had quit her unfulfilling job to start her own business when her husband was laid off. She tried to keep her business going but soon realized that it was not going to support her family and the stress was causing lots of problems. So she went back to her previous profession to get some money coming in and put her dream of her own business on hold.

Like so many of us, she felt she was just “doing what needed to be done”.

Yet, as she told me her story, it was filled with self-criticism of what she should have done and the mistakes she felt she had made. She was crying as she told it.

I suggested that she was seeing it thru a “cloudy lens” ‘and that she could

re-write her story to focus on the effect of what she had done…saving her family. And that is a very big deal to them.

My own history and inheritance.

I know this story very well as my mother did the same thing. She went to work for the first time at age 42 and eventually opened a business as a way to support us when my father became ill. Her courage and willingness to do “what needed to be done ” are the best inheritance I have.

A New Story

As I retold my client’s story, from new point of view, her tears stopped and she begin to smile.

“What a gift…and a relief- to see it thru other eyes. I never thought of it that way. I think I’ll change my story,” she said.

This long-term effect is huge…. Rosa Parks just sat on a bus, Betty Friedan just wrote a book, but both of these ordinary acts changed our lives.

What Heros Are

Hero are not born, I think, but are often ordinary people who just do what needs to be done and in doing that, give the rest of us a much different and better history.

So I hope you will write yourself a new story.

I’d love to hear it.

So that’s my story and I ‘m sticking to it.

And I hope you will too.

The Career Coach’s Corner

Jeannie Fennell — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 23:31:17 +0000

“What are some of the most common mistakes job seekers make?

The 3 H’s: Handshakes, Hugs & Help:
3 Key Ingredients in Finding Work

Coach Jeannie Says:
“Let me explain…”

All job seekers I have met work very hard on finding work…it is just that they sometimes put their energy into places that don’t produce much results.
Often I hear them say that they have sent out lots & lots of resumes but have little response. Sending out lots of resumes is sort of like buying a lottery ticket…great if you win but your odds are not very good!
Job seekers often only try to connect with people who are advertising jobs. They don’t seem to realize that since 80-90% of jobs are not advertised and are filled by someone who is knows someone, they need to spend 80-90% of their time in getting known.And only 10-15% of time in sending resumes for jobs on the internet.
The old “6 degrees of separation” works hugely in this area.

Here is one of the ways to do this:

Take advantage of the many job seekers groups available….not only to polish up resumes & interview skills but to connect with others who are also looking.
They can tell you about opportunities that you cannot know about because they are in places you don’t go. They also have their own “network” that they can refer you to; you never know who they know.
It is like having your own job help army. They can be your “job scouts”.And you can do the same for them.

But you do have to attend the groups regularly and get known there. Share your own knowledge & your network freely. Also volunteering to help set chairs, make coffee, etc. lets people see that you care and are responsible as well as visible.As other get to know you, they can recommend you.Reaching out to others means a lot.It may take a while but it sure beats sitting in front of the computer until your buns & brains are numb.

Social media has a place in job seeking but NOTHING replaces personal contact & a reputation as a reliable & helpful person. Yes,it sometimes “takes a village” to get a job so its important to get to know your neighbors!

A hug or a handshake is one of the most important thing you can do to find a job.

And it feels good to the
giver & receiver…and it is free.

*********************************************************

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Jeannie Fennell — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:33:36 +0000

Puppy Love

“ Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give someone else ”

Yep. It’s the “luv’ month and all the ads saying how buying jewelry, candy and flowers is the best way to show your love to someone. And it sure is important to let other know you love them. I even have an annual “Make a Valentine “ party where we create valentines and eat chocolate so I’m all for that.

But it seems to me one of the people we often leave out of the “Love List” is ourselves.

Yes, I know this not what we usually think of because we have been taught that loving ourselves is selfish and self-centered. When in fact, it is the opposite is true. Babies and even plants all thrive more when they get positive energy.

And I know this is true for me. When I feel good about me I am not so interested in finding fault with you.

But most of us don’t even like ourselves much and treat ourselves much more meanly that we would treat anyone else. Regularly. I hear friends and clients say things like “I’m so stupid, so fat , so laziest .” And advertisers want to convince us that we cannot get love until we are much better. …Slimmer, smarter etc.

We seem to have the Marine boot camp view that we have to tear ourselves down before we can built ourselves up…Only we never get to the building up part and seem stuck in tear down.

When Do I get to Perfect?

We think that we can’t be loving to ourselves until we are perfect…. and that day never comes. Yet we often love others who have annoying flaws …but we care about them still. Why not us?

And as I am writing this one of my dogs comes by and stops for her expected pets and praise. And I am happy to give it to her…not because she is perfect (my chewed up shoes and flower beds will attest to that) but just because I love her.

A Wild Thought

And then a wild l thought comes to me…what if I gave myself as some of the appreciation and affection as I give my pets? I could certainly use some more pats and praise not to mention treats and play. And lots of “Good Girl” and other goofy things I say to them would be fun to say to myself.

How about “ Good Woman” instead of “Good Dog” or “What a fine person you are! “ You are so precious” and other silly but loving phrases. I ’m getting the hang of this… it could be a whole new vocabulary.

Smiles & Chuckles

Just thinking of doing this makes me smile and even chuckle. It feels very good.

And when I feel good, I am much less critical and cranky…

And surely, that’s a great gift to others.

And so to answer the question, ”What’s Love got to do with it? The answer is everything!

Please pass the chocolates.

Charlotte Obsever Article on Job Search 2/13/11

Jeannie Fennell — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:24:15 +0000

Former recruiter: Find balance between seeking job, living life

By Bobby Sisk

Posted: Sunday, Feb. 13, 2011

COLUMNISTS »

Bobby Sisk

Watch Bobby Sisk weekdays at 4 and 5:30 p.m. on the Observer’s News Partner, WCNC, NewsChannel 36.

E-mail Bobby Sisk or call 704-329-3625

Jeannie Fennell is optimistic by nature. She is also realistic when it comes to the energy it takes to search for a job. She encourages job seekers to find a balance between looking for work and still living their lives.

Fennell is a former recruiter, employment manager and college career counselor. She now operates her own company called Lifeworks.

“I do this whole talk about making sure you have some things to do that have nothing to do with the job search. Learn something new, do something fun, get rest and get exercise. That is so critical because looking for a job is very stressful and it is very draining,” Fennell said.

In her practice, she is seeing some good trends. “First thing people want to know is are you seeing more people getting jobs?” Her answer is yes. “It definitely is a slow growth, but it is a growth. Just the other day someone e-mailed me and said, ‘I’ve been unemployed two years and hardly gotten any interviews and now I’ve gotten three.’”

That said, there is still one major area where Fennell says many job seekers need to focus: “Most people say, ‘I’ve been really looking. I’ve sent out hundreds of resumes.’. And I say, ‘Wrong.’ What people don’t understand is there are more jobs out there but it is just like it’s always been and more so. Eighty to 90 percent of all jobs are filled by somebody who knows somebody.”

In other words, get out and beat the bushes. And most important, never underestimate your connections. You don’t know who your friends or former colleagues know until you ask. “They may find something for you. Or at least someone for you to talk to,” Fennell said.

I’ll give you an example. A co-worker recently mentioned she was writing a letter of recommendation for a friend who was applying for a job. Ends up, I knew not only the applicant but also a member of the board that oversees that employer. Again, this is proof that in your job search, it can end up being a small world.

Fennell is also seeing more of her clients finding contract work. Others, she says, are starting their own businesses. Whatever direction you decide, she reminds you to strike a balance: “At the end of the day, when you’ve had just one more rejection, it really helps to say, ‘I’m going to do this tonight. Have something to do.’”

Learn more at www.lifeworksonline .net .

Thank You for Being in My Life

Jeannie Fennell — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 22:04:09 +0000

” If the only prayer you ever say is Thank You , that is enough.” Meister Eckhart

Dear Friends,

This is just to say thank you for being in my life….as friends,clients. or maybe someone I have never met.I do consider everyone on my address list as a friend…even if you are people I have not met face to face.

I am grateful to have you in my life.
This year, I have had the privilege of working with many people going thru major life transitions and their courage and resilience has been an inspiration to me.I think one the great gifts of living a while is to realize that we do have the strength to get thru tough times.. we have done it before.

We are all going thru times of change but remember we all come from hardy stock.I am reminded of our relatives who certainly went thru many times of difficulty and passed their strength on to us.I think of my grandmother & my mother who both found themselves having to make a living for themselves & their children when they had never done so before.They did what they had to do with grace and lots of sweat! And were always grateful for the life and love that they had and shared with others.

How can we not do the same?
I’m sure you there are people you know who are like that too.
Surely,we all have a heritage that has both survived and thrived & so can we.I am grateful to remember that.
Sometimes the gifts I get from a “growing experience ” are the ones that really last,
although I usually can’t see it at the time!

I have always really liked the idea of Thanksgiving.It is special to me not only because I love to eat but because it seems very wonderful for a nation to set aside a special day each year to give thanks.So wherever we come from, we can take a few minutes to be grateful for all we have and all those who touch our lives.

And so I want to let you know that I am grateful to you for staying on my list,for reading what I send to you and for giving me feedback.I am also very grateful that you ask me to support you by becoming a client,a workshop participant or taking the time to write a comment to me.

So, just know that you are appreciated and valued.
Thank you for enriching my life…and pass the turkey!

Jeannie

WITH A SONG IN HER HEART

Jeannie Fennell — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 22:06:01 +0000

Meet Cindy Thomson, a woman who reclaimed her dream and inspires us to remember that is never too late to spread some joy.

Cindy has just recorded her first CD & on 11/14 she is having a CD release party party with the live band who recorded with her. It will be a great way to applaud her and her dream. (See info in sidebar). We hear that Tommy Tomlinson columnist for the Charlotte Observer will be there to write a story about her journey.

She did what she had to do.

Like many single moms, Cindy did what she had to do to support her two kids. She went back to college to finish her degree in accounting, rather than one in music, as she really wanted. . She sang when she could but never felt that she could pursue a music career. Her dream was put up and put off. But dreams are persistent & she finally got her chance and took it.

Now was the time…Music was calling.

She was laided off last year and tried to get another accounting job but music kept calling her. As a boomer and grandmother, she realized that if she was ever going to do it, now was the time. She felt that she needed to do this for herself and others like her who had had to put their dreams aside.

“With some coaching & family support, I finally began to believe that I deserved to do what I really wanted to do. I have never been so happy”.

And as often happens when we take a risk, many unexpected sources of support …like the Grammy nominated musicians, an outstanding producer and the superb sound studio…came to assist her. Her mother’s lovely artwork is on the CD cover.And so she created a CD.

THE SWEET THINGS IN LIFE CD is full of uplifting music and old favorites because Cindy feels we all need a lift these days. These songs have been a good reminder of hope for many year

And so in sharing the song that has always been in her heart, Cindy has put a song in our lives. And what a sweet thing that is.

Want to Get Something Done ? Get Some Old Broads to Do It!

Jeannie Fennell — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 21:54:37 +0000

Years ago a friend gave me a small towel with that motto on it and it hangs in a place of honor in my bathroom.So when I heard about
“GREAT OLD BROADS FOR WILDERNESS”,
I had to check it out.

And I was totally hooked when saw their quote:

“Time & trouble can tame an young woman but an advanced old woman is a uncontrollable by any earthly force”.

And having come from a long line of “uncontrollable women ”
I knew exactly what they meant…and maybe you do too.And maybe you are one,I hope
so!

So meet “Some Old Broads” who are getting things done & making a difference in the world.

GREAT OLD BROADS FOR WILDERNESS
is a national grassroots organization that uses the voices and activisim of “elders” & others to protect & preserve wilderness.They work to preserve roadless public lands & other areas.
In Oct. they helped to create a new wilderness area in the Cherokee National Forest & avocated passing the first expansion of the Tenn. Wilderess Act in 24 years.They have been active in land preservation in almost every state by hosting “BroadWalks” camps where they eat great food, laugh a lot and
support the preservation of local wilderness areas.
They really know how to poke fun at politics and have some too.
Check out their antics in D.C.

Having Fun + Making a Difference

Regardless of the name,you don’t have to be older or a woman to join or support this amazing group.
After all, places to have wonderful experiences is about all we can we can truly leave to those that come after us.