“The only journey is the journey within.”
Wow- it was quite a trip! My recent vacation opened my eyes to many things…not only to the magnificent Rocky Mountains but the magnificent people who helped me get there. Most of them were complete strangers.
Not only was it a journey to a different place in the mountains but also a different place within me. Both locations were, at times, somewhat scary but very interesting.
The Great Old Broads have Style
In our hot NC summers, I like to go to somewhere cool so when I read about the Great Old Broads for the Wilderness trip to The Colorado Rockies, I was delighted. I could reconnect with an old friend in Denver and then camp out with the “Broads”. And be part of this amazing group dedicated to environmental causes as well as having fun. ”Libations for Happy Hour” were listed in instructions on what to bring….my kind of camping.
Those people are “Strangers”
The logistics of getting from Denver to the camp- 300+ miles away and getting gear across the country and other considerations seemed daunting but I kept thinking that somehow it could be done. I didn’t have a clue as to how.
Before I left, several people said ‘ “But you will be around strangers- you don’t know anyone in that group”. Little did I realize that this was a great advantage!
Exploring the Ins & Outs of Travel
I did find that one of the gifts of travel is to explore different places, including the ones you carry around inside of you.
Faking my strong woman act came young. I was raised to be very self-sufficient and take care of things myself. Early I learned to say the “Everything is just fine” line with the fake smile plastered on. And while this early training has been useful in many ways, it has also sometimes kept me from being truthful about what I was feeling and, of course, seldom asking for help. Sometimes, this has caused me to feel isolated and weary as I had to do it all myself.
The Kindness of Strangers
But on this trip, I truly began to learn to “rely on the kindness of strangers” because that was all that was around me. I had to ask for help regularly. And I also found that, just telling the truth about how I was feeling opened up vast amounts of support that I didn’t even know I wanted but loved having. And it connected me in very powerful ways.
The list of gifts, support & fun from folks I didn’t know is very long and I am very grateful for it all. The generosity still astounds me. From open arms hospitality from some one I had not seen in 15 years, to “taxi” service all over Denver, to a 600-mile ride, a hot shower and a stay in a luxury trailer, I was beautifully taken care of.
It’s Blowing In the Wind
But the best gift was how this trip showed me a part of myself that needed to be “blown away ” by the mountain wind. It was time to let go of an old, worn out way of being.
It was time to give up the “I can do it myself ” act and leave it like a pair of hiking boots that don’t fit any more. I”m trading them in for support, comfort & a new style. The sense of freedom is as intoxicating as the mountain views.
It only took a 3000-mile trip for me to find out that sharing my journey is all it takes to turn strangers into friends. I’m never alone because strangers are everywhere.
Sometimes I’m a little slow…but I do finally get there.
Broads Help Each Other Cross a Stream
WONDER WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE?
Ever had the experience of where you realize that something you that used to make you feel good …an outfit, a place or even a person…don’t seem to fit right or feel as good as they once did? What happened to it while I wasn’t looking?
I have been having that experience lately.
When this happens, I usually try to deny it or try to make it work by putting in lots of effort to recapture what I am losing. I will make it work, I say…which of course is just asking for more frustration but then, I’m a slow learner.
Often I felt naked & vulnerable as it feels like things that have changed things are the things make me feel secure. I resent that I didn’t have a choice that my “blankness “ are going w away.
With lots of resistance...
It started to happen last fall when I had some health challenges and was advised to slow down some and not work so hard. I knew it was good advice and although difficult to put into practice, I liked the idea. And thought it would be great to have more time for myself.
So with some (lots) of resistance, I began to let go of some projects and obligations.
When winter came, I enjoyed some hibernating but still kept my long list of “to dos”. The quiet voiced kept asking me, ” Who would you be without all the doing?” It was scary to think of that.
But by spring, I began to get restless and felt “fenced in” by all the “musts & shoulds” I had built around me.
With reluctance, it began to occur to me all the “duties “ gave me some identity as well as kept me very busy with no time to look around.
The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.
And while that was very good for a long time, I could also see that it also kept me in one place. My protection “fences” had, in some ways, became barriers. The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.
I began to see that I needed to slow down so I could pay attention at first. But now I needed to clear some room to grow…. I needed more wide-open spaces and fewer fences.
If every day is filled, it leaves little room for creating & exploring.
What would my life be like if I could let go a little and open space for new and old dreams to appear? And if I could allow myself to feel unsure and naked a bit, maybe I could take down some of my “fear fence”…and I might have a great new view!
So now as I take baby steps in exploring some new areas, I like playing the old cowboy song, ” Don’t Fence Me In “ and the Dixie Chicks wonderful song celebrating “Wide Open Spaces” .
They remind me that it is only in outgrowing our fences, that we are truly free
Puppy Love
“ Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give someone else ”
Yep. It’s the “luv’ month and all the ads saying how buying jewelry, candy and flowers is the best way to show your love to someone. And it sure is important to let other know you love them. I even have an annual “Make a Valentine “ party where we create valentines and eat chocolate so I’m all for that.
But it seems to me one of the people we often leave out of the “Love List” is ourselves.
Yes, I know this not what we usually think of because we have been taught that loving ourselves is selfish and self-centered. When in fact, it is the opposite is true. Babies and even plants all thrive more when they get positive energy.
And I know this is true for me. When I feel good about me I am not so interested in finding fault with you.
But most of us don’t even like ourselves much and treat ourselves much more meanly that we would treat anyone else. Regularly. I hear friends and clients say things like “I’m so stupid, so fat , so laziest .” And advertisers want to convince us that we cannot get love until we are much better. …Slimmer, smarter etc.
We seem to have the Marine boot camp view that we have to tear ourselves down before we can built ourselves up…Only we never get to the building up part and seem stuck in tear down.
When Do I get to Perfect?
We think that we can’t be loving to ourselves until we are perfect…. and that day never comes. Yet we often love others who have annoying flaws …but we care about them still. Why not us?
And as I am writing this one of my dogs comes by and stops for her expected pets and praise. And I am happy to give it to her…not because she is perfect (my chewed up shoes and flower beds will attest to that) but just because I love her.
A Wild Thought
And then a wild l thought comes to me…what if I gave myself as some of the appreciation and affection as I give my pets? I could certainly use some more pats and praise not to mention treats and play. And lots of “Good Girl” and other goofy things I say to them would be fun to say to myself.
How about “ Good Woman” instead of “Good Dog” or “What a fine person you are! “ You are so precious” and other silly but loving phrases. I ’m getting the hang of this… it could be a whole new vocabulary.
Smiles & Chuckles
Just thinking of doing this makes me smile and even chuckle. It feels very good.
And when I feel good, I am much less critical and cranky…
And surely, that’s a great gift to others.
And so to answer the question, ”What’s Love got to do with it? The answer is everything!
Please pass the chocolates.
Former recruiter: Find balance between seeking job, living life
By Bobby Sisk
Posted: Sunday, Feb. 13, 2011
Watch Bobby Sisk weekdays at 4 and 5:30 p.m. on the Observer’s News Partner, WCNC, NewsChannel 36.
Jeannie Fennell is optimistic by nature. She is also realistic when it comes to the energy it takes to search for a job. She encourages job seekers to find a balance between looking for work and still living their lives.
Fennell is a former recruiter, employment manager and college career counselor. She now operates her own company called Lifeworks.
“I do this whole talk about making sure you have some things to do that have nothing to do with the job search. Learn something new, do something fun, get rest and get exercise. That is so critical because looking for a job is very stressful and it is very draining,” Fennell said.
In her practice, she is seeing some good trends. “First thing people want to know is are you seeing more people getting jobs?” Her answer is yes. “It definitely is a slow growth, but it is a growth. Just the other day someone e-mailed me and said, ‘I’ve been unemployed two years and hardly gotten any interviews and now I’ve gotten three.’”
That said, there is still one major area where Fennell says many job seekers need to focus: “Most people say, ‘I’ve been really looking. I’ve sent out hundreds of resumes.’. And I say, ‘Wrong.’ What people don’t understand is there are more jobs out there but it is just like it’s always been and more so. Eighty to 90 percent of all jobs are filled by somebody who knows somebody.”
In other words, get out and beat the bushes. And most important, never underestimate your connections. You don’t know who your friends or former colleagues know until you ask. “They may find something for you. Or at least someone for you to talk to,” Fennell said.
I’ll give you an example. A co-worker recently mentioned she was writing a letter of recommendation for a friend who was applying for a job. Ends up, I knew not only the applicant but also a member of the board that oversees that employer. Again, this is proof that in your job search, it can end up being a small world.
Fennell is also seeing more of her clients finding contract work. Others, she says, are starting their own businesses. Whatever direction you decide, she reminds you to strike a balance: “At the end of the day, when you’ve had just one more rejection, it really helps to say, ‘I’m going to do this tonight. Have something to do.’”
Learn more at www.lifeworksonline .net .
Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/02/13/2055636/former-recruiter-find-balance.html#ixzz1EK9vWSPk
In August, I took an amazing trip on a ferry up the coast of Alaska. We stopped at some of the small towns along the way and I became fascinated with the tradition of totem poles. They are stunningly beautiful but also tell stories about culture.
I learned about a totem named for
Fog Woman, a mythical woman who ushers in salmon with the fog to feed her people and keep them safe.
I decided that I wanted to find a small replica of the Fog Woman totem to take back with me as a special symbol. I found a small hand carved totem and now it sits now on my desk. Little did I know how powerful that would soon be for me!
Tired and a little down when I returned, I figured this is to be expected after such a trip. When my fatigue and low mood did not change after a couple of weeks, I became concerned. I also felt like I was really wandering around in the proverbial “fog “.
(So o.k., maybe I am usually like that but this was a lot, even for me!)
As I explored the roots of this feeling, I realized I felt like a salmon swimming upstream, and it was very tiring. I wrote it off to September being a busy time for me and kept going. Eventually, I had a routine physical exam which showed nothing wrong. Yet, my inner self whispered a different message.
Finally paying attention to the inner voice, I consulted a wonderful holistic practitioner who said, “Your mind, heart and spirit are so strong that you don’t realize that your body cannot always keep up.” As soon as she said this, I knew it was true and was exactly what I had needed to hear. I had been getting these messages but didn’t want to hear them. At some level it was a relief because she confirmed what my body had been telling me. Now I was ready to listen.
I remembered that about 3 years ago I felt I wanted to to slow down a bit and play more. But when the recession and the accompanying fear hit, I ramped back up and just kept pushing. Clearly now my body was saying that I need to go back to my original plan and re-prioritize how to spend my energy.
Amazing that a small wooden image had the perfect message for me! Fog Woman showed that the gifts of abundance can come out of a fog. I don’t need to always “push the river” and be afraid that I won’t have what I need. Wonderful things come to me when I relax and operate not out of fear and scarcity but out of peace and reflection. Look what gifts I was given from this trip.
And yes, I am a little less “foggy” now …back to my normal level anyway and am feeling much renewed and restored.
Who knew a vacation could do so much…I think I’ll plan another one soon.
October 28, 2010 | Filed Under Transitions | Comments Off
A group for Women who desire a shift from the routine of everyday life and move towards experiencing the ancient heartbeat of the Earth using drums, rattles, dance, song and heart to heart conversation.
A sacred place to rediscover women’s spirituality and wisdom using rhythm.
No Experience Necessary!
Love Offering Accepted.
UPCOMING DATES: MAY 14TH & JUNE 25
7:00-9:00 pm
Contact me for location.
For 2 years I have hosted a free drumming circle in the summer. This circle is facilitated by Belinda Haverdill, http://www.belindahaverdill.com/ a counselor & a member of Soulo entrepreneur’s group. She wanted to have the drumming be outside and I volunteered my back porch. I’ve enjoyed it a lot & met some great women.
I really appreciate having Belinda organize it and I just get to be a participant; a welcome change of pace for me.
I’m really not a drummer but I like to make noise so I have lots of rattles and other toys to play with. I find it a great way to release stress and have some fun.
My series on “Whole Health” continues with this guest post by Nelsa Ciapponi, MD, ABIHM.
Dr. Ciapponi is board certified in Family Practice, and has studied Integrative and Holistic medicine. She is a graduate of Duke and Medical College of Pennsylvania She was with CMC in Family Medicine for 8 years.
Natural Remedies for Cold and Flu Season
People often ask me, “What are some natural therapies for cold and flu?” Home remedies and natural products have long been used to treat and prevent Upper respiratory tract infections (URTI) and Influenza-like illness (ILI). Symptoms usually wane after 3-5 days, but is there evidence for some of the more common remedies? What about effectiveness and safety? We’ll address some of these issues here.
Home Remedies
Home remedies range form diet, dressing warm, vaporizers, poultices and Neti pots. Adding garlic to the diet can be beneficial due to its anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties (it has been called Russian Penicillin), and warm liquids/soups can help prevent dehydration and soothe irritated throats.
The Neti Pot (small vessels with long narrow spouts) has long been used in India to rinse the nasal passages with warm saline (salt) water. This can be a safe and helpful way to wash viruses, allergens and mucus out of the nose especially in cases of dry, irritated nasal passages or during an upper respiratory illness.
Sleep deprivation is associated with disruptions of the immune function and this should be a time of rest and repair for the body. So, the old adage, “Get plenty of sleep” is valid. While there is not data to suggest that excessive amounts of sleep, it appears prudent to avoid sleep deficits and increase sleep time during illnesess.
Vitamins and Minerals
The most common of these supplements are Vitamins C and D, and Zinc. Vitamin C is the most common vitamin associated with warding off viral respiratory infections. Studies show mixed results, but a number do show a decrease in duration of symptoms when used preventively (200mg or more a day).
Side effects of vitamin C (in large daily doses exceeding 3 to 6 grams) include diarrhea and upset stomach. Otherwise, the side-effect profile of vitamin C is similar to placebo. Many experts recommend 1000-2000 mg two to three times a day when symptoms begin as it does help support the immune system through increased white blood cell activity.
Vitamin D
In addition to its well-known effects on bone health, vitamin D is an important immune regulator, stimulating the body’s own immunity. Studies have shown an increased risk for severe acute lower respiratory illness in people with low vitamin D levels, as well as, an increase risk for influenza. I recommend getting tested to insure an optimum level of 25-hydroxy vitamin D is at least 50 nanograms/ml (32 being low normal).
Zinc
The essential mineral, zinc, plays an important role in immune function. Zinc is a component of many enzymes. The activity of virtually all immune cells is affected by zinc. Its deficiency leads to an increased susceptibly to infection and is associated with an increased incidence and severity of pneumonia
Studies of the effectiveness of zinc supplements in preventing have had mixed results. It appears the benefits of zinc supplementation were most apparent among those who began taking zinc shortly after symptoms began. In a recent placebo-controlled trial, the adults assigned to zinc lozenges (13.3 mg of zinc acetate every 2-3 hours) showed significant improvement in symptom severity and duration without significant side-effects It’s important to note that nasal swabs and nasal sprays that contain zinc can lead to loss of smell and should be avoided until further studies demonstrate safety.
These are some easy and inexpensive ways to aid you to better health.
Dr. Nelsa Ciapponi , MD, ABIHM, is committed to advocate for preventive and integrative medicine Dr. Ciapponi has practiced family medicine for 19 years with a special interest in preventive and holistic medicine. Her practice, Optimal Health Care, (www.optimalhealthmed.com) combines traditional medicine with complementary and alternative medicine.
“Small steps make grand adventures!”
~ Winnie the Pooh
Today we have the incredible advantage of having the amazing knowledge of traditional “western” medical science and the also amazing knowledge of other wellness traditions to learn from.
Each one has much to offer and to enable us to be more healthy & more productive lives.
Sometimes the “holistic or alternative ” therapies are seem as strange and unproven…but really, many of them have been around for thousands of years & have keep people well long before ” modern medicine.”
So as we open up to a multi-cultural world, we can also open up to a “multi- medical ” world.
So glad you are on this journey with me!
Welcome Guest Writers for Whole Health Series
Over the next few weeks I have the pleasure of bringing you guest columnists who have the best of both wellness worlds. They are great examples of learning and using a “both sides of the brain” approach.
Today’s columnist is Susan Thomasson,who has an extensive background in both traditional medicine as well as complementary therapies.
SUSAN’S SUPER SUGGESTIONS FOR SMALL STEPS
When Jeannie asked me to write for this blog, I didn’t have any idea where to start. My personal and professional interests are all over the map. I do, however, have a passion for sharing the possibilities of integrative medicine (complementary therapies) as an approach to health and wellness. So let’s start there.
Some Girls Buy Shoes…
Do you enjoy learning new techniques, exploring ideas, searching for answers? I have always loved to learn new things…have been back to school a few times over the years, enjoy continuing education classes, and love reading, reading and more reading to figure things out for myself. (Some girls buy shoes—I buy books!) My recent reading has included Dean Ornish’s Love and Survival, Lynn McTaggart’s The Intention Experiment, and Crowley and Lodge’s Younger Next Year. All three are amazing…and lead me more and more in the direction of “we have a lot more control over our health and well-being that we may even begin to imagine!”
What you can control…
What do you want for the New Year? What do you want to have control over or change in this new decade? Have your considered a holistic approach? I use an integrative approach and find that many of these ideas can address many issues. For instance, a monthly massage therapy or Reiki session will help decrease the effects of stress, improve your circulation, decrease tense muscles, relieve pain, and improve sleep. Or a weekly yoga class can help you focus while helping improve flexibility and strength…..Or regular prayer or meditation practices can help you feel calm and less stressed ….Or volunteering at your favorite charitable organization can help you feel connected and whole….Even sitting down to dinner with your family can provide many healthy benefits…and a sense of belonging.
Take some time for you & your health.
The main idea here is just to take time for you. Honor and nurture the wonderful person that you are. Work to take care of your WHOLE being, mind-body-spirit! I’m trying…so you can, too! Happy New Year!
…………………..And enjoy the journey.
Susan is a Board Certified Medical Laboratory Scientist & Instructor at Carolinas College of Health Sciences. In addition, Susan is Director of Continuing Education there and has created an innovative seminar on “Integrative Medicine” to introduce CMC students & the public to that information.(for more info on this seminar, email Susan at the address below). I have been honored to be a part of that for several years. She is also a licensed massage therapist & Reiki master.
• Susan B. Thomasson, M.Ed., MT(ASCP)SH, LMBT
Director, Continuing Education Department
Carolinas College of Health Sciences
Email: susan.thomasson@carolinashealthcare.org
I’ve been so fortunate that for most of my life I have had dogs. I have learned a lot from them.
But recently an experience with a dog taught me a lot about health….which
reminds me once again that there are gifts in everything.
Often I take my two rescue mutts to a large field where they can run off leash and meet other dogs. A few weeks before I had chatted with a young woman named Cindy & met her year-old Boxer “Max.” Cindy was a first time dog owner & was excited about having a dog. We talked about dog behavior and I told her of some of my “dog learning” experiences.
A few weeks later I was at the field and saw Cindy and a guy I assumed was her boyfriend as they were very involved with each other. However they were not very involved with Max.
Max was running around and getting further away from them. Cindy would occasionally pull her attention away from her boyfriend and call Max to “come.” When Max did not come, her calls became increasingly shrill.
She eventually came in my direction so I took the opportunity to offer her a dog treat to entice Max with, explaining that was a way I had taught my dogs to come. Cindy told me emphatically that Max didn’t deserve a treat, as he was being “bad.”
Finally Max did come to her and she began to hit him and tell him he was a bad dog. I was very upset to see this and felt I needed to intervene. I said that I knew she was frustrated but he would not want to come if he was punished when he did come. Of course she didn’t pay any attention to me and hauled Max away.
With a very heavy heart, I saw that the relationship between Cindy and Max was headed for trouble and possible abuse. And probably the pound for Max.
Later that day I was reminded of the relationship between Cindy and Max when I saw an article about exercise were the emphasis was on the ”No Pain, No gain” school of health.
It occurred to me that many of us have the same type of relationship to our bodies that I saw between Cindy to Max.
That is, we ignore our bodies until they don’t perform like we think they should and then we punish them and tell them they are “bad.” We treat our bodies like they need to be punished with brutal exercise and deprivation diets. We don’t take the time to learn much about what they need and we don’t pay attention to the “messages” we get about what makes our bodies feel good. So it is no surprise that our relationship to our bodies is one of frustration and confusion.
So I am going to suggest that we adopt a new view of health
starting with the motto:
“Your Body is Your Best Friend”
And the remembering these simple D.O.G ideas:
D= don’t rely on fad diets or quick fixes,
good relationships take time & care.
Do “check in” regularly to see where
your body is and where it is going.
O= Own that your body is unique and will
willingly tell you what makes it thrive.
Do you need more sleep than is?
“average”? Do you like walks more
than treadmills?
Find out what works for YOU, not
what “experts tell you
G= Give your body the care and respect
it deserves.Walks, lots of play,
good food and loving attention
make dogs and bodies thrive.
Treat your body as well as you would
your Best Friend…because it
really is.
Be the person your dog thinks you are!
