“Medical Science does not know how to quantify the healing effects of joy.” Nelsa Ciaponni, MD

Dusty had a double mastectomy 5 years ago, but the cancer had returned. She had lots of unsuccessful chemo, and her future looked

bleak. Doctors recommended a drug trial, but she knew that it would mean that she would not be able to have quality time with her daughter in the last summer before she left for college.

So Dusty made a radical decision. She stopped the chemo and decided to pack as much good times into that summer as she could. She joined hundreds of other women riding their motorcycles across the county to raise awareness and money for breast cancer. And she soaked up lots of her daughter’s company.  When the summer was over, she went in for a medical check up.  She was found to be CANCER FREE!

When I read this story in Tamela Rich’s book “Full Throttle,”“ I was thrilled for Dusty, but not surprised. Tamela too reclaimed her life by reconnecting with her own joy. There are many stories like these, but we sometimes think they only happen to someone else or are a fluke.

The quote from Dr. Ciaponni really said it all. What if there is much more to the healing effects of joy than we have been led to believe?

Daily we are bombarded with huge amounts of ever changing information about how to “fix” our bodies, most of which are of the “no gain, no pain”  mentality. Ugh – no wonder we don’t follow that advice.  We don’t hear very much about changing our emotions in order to change our health.

What happened to body, mind, and spirit? Somehow we have lost being whole humans and are only seen as parts.

Some years ago in England, a group launched a “Happiness Project “ in an effort to help reduce and prevent illness. Participants who enrolled in the project were subjected to thorough scientific tests to measure the results. They found that being happier actually changes your brain for the better in many powerful ways. Wow!

And since my brain can use all the help I can give it, I have nothing to lose and my mind to gain, or gain back, by being happier.

At Harvard, the most poplar course in the whole school is on the psychology of happiness. (And you thought going to Harvard was just  about how to be president!). The instructor, Dr.Tal Ben-Sharar,  wrote a book called “Happier,”  about what he had learned from the class. Now I’m not smart enough to get into Harvard, but I’m smart enough to learn from them, and you are too

What a radical idea   …being happier really makes us healthier and it is much more fun that sweating and spinach!

The more I learn about the connection between happiness and health, the more excited I am to find out more.  I’m not saying that I know a lot yet, but it makes so much sense to me that I am very excited to share what I have found out.  After all, we know a lot about how unhappy emotions can make us feel bad – why not learn more about what we can do easily to have more positive emotions?  And besides, being a very bossy woman, I like having more control over my health and my life.  Maybe you can relate?

The Health, Hope, & Happiness workshops coming up will provide a place to learn more about this mind/body connection and will be fun at the same time. What’s not to like?

As for my personal journey, I’m realizing that just adding a“Daily Dose of Delight” is becoming as important as taking my vitamins.

It is something to look forward to, and it’s free.

And when someone asks me what I‘m doing, I will just say,

 “I’m taking my medication,” and then I will laugh out loud!

Related posts:

1. Don’t Fence Me In
2. My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun
3. LET FREEDOM RING! Celebrate the Sparkles….

The Pink House

The Pink House

“PINK HOUSES,PALACES & PRODUCE “

“You can never have enough of what you don’t really want”

It all started with 12 cans of tomatoes. On a cold rainy Saturday, I decided it was time to clean out my pantry. It seemed like a good thing to do, as my social calendar was blank. So I set to work and felt very vitreous.

   12 Cans of Tomatoes?

That was, until I found 12 cans of various tomato products in my pantry. What in the world was I doing with 12 cans of tomatoes?

How did that happen? I like tomatoes but I can’t use 12 cans for a long time… what was I thinking? Obviously not much! It was mindless buying with little thought.

Hummm.. it seem like I’ve heard those words before. How often have I bought “stuff” because it was on sale or thought it was a quick feel better fix ? Finding all those tomatoes stacked before me caused me to think about questions I’ve been struggling with recently. How much is too much? When is it enough? How much do I really need to feel satisfied and secure?

  Tough questions..

Tough questions for me with little answers. But since we are just past the “too much of everything” season, this seem like a good time to explore them.

The question of “what is enough?” was stirred up with me while reading Geneen Roth’s best selling book,

“Lost and Found”.

She is best known for her books and work in the area of compulsive eating. But in this book, Geneen describes her life experiences after losing money with Bernie Maddoff’s investment scheme. The insightful information she provides  on “what is enough?” applies to money & stuff, as well as food.

And as often happens after a major loss, Geneen  began to explore what is really valuable in her life. Even after her financial loss, Geneen had what most of us would see as wealth. She began to realize that no matter how much of anything (money, food, clothes, clients, etc.) she had, it never felt rich enough for her.

Sometimes I have felt that way too.

An email from a friend in the Peace Corp working in Africa looked  at the same question. My friend lives in a small pink house (pictured above) without electricity or running water. At times, she felt frustrated by not having these things even though  she has one of the best houses in the village. She felt that way until she met an much older woman doing the same type of work as my friend but for another organization. This woman lived in a very small leaky old tent. After thinking  about this, my friend decided  her small pink house was really a “palace.” and  became deeply aware that she had plenty.

So it seems that no matter what you do or don’t have materially, we are all faced with the question :

What do  I need to feel content, satisfied and secure?  

A peaceful place in between.

I realize that I don’t often know…in part because I don’t stop to think about or to pay attention to what I already have. I don’t think living in deprivation or martyrdom works either because it makes you deny that you need anything. Denial is always a trap.

But surely there is a peaceful place in between. And I do enjoy many things that make my life easier & will fight  if you take my Ben & Jerry’s away.

But very,very slowly, I am finding that simply asking myself..”How much is enough? Makes me pause long enough to explore it. And usually I find that it is not the amount or even what I have, but the delight and appreciation of I have that is the fulfilling & satisfying part.

And I can never have too much of that, including gratitude for Cherry Garcia!

I really do live in a palace…and I’ll bet you do too.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Fence Me In
2. My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun
3. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION

 Wow!  It was a blast to be on “live” TV last week and your good wishes made it even better.

I felt so supported and like you were all there with me

I’ve gotten many emails & calls from folks who were sending good wishes even if they didn’t see it or read the follow up column in the Charlotte Observer on 9/19.

It’s really fun to have a “Fan Club”…even for a few days! Thank you.

Here’s the back story.

Bobby Sisk

Bobby Sisk, news anchor on WBNC, channel 36, called me Tues. morning about 10 to see if I could do the interview. He  asked me to be at studio by 3:45 that afternoon with somewhat sane answers to the questions he sent me. I’d been taped for tv before but this was live…no way to edit what you  say.Gulp!

Of course, it was an already packed day and I wasn’t sure how I  could  fit another thing into it but somehow it worked out.This was a powerful motivation  to get organized!

It was very interesting to see how the studio really looks and to be “miked up”in the “green” ( its  really grey) room. Bobbie Sisk. the anchor, was so helpful and relaxed that he made it very  comfortable but I  didn’t remember what  said till I saw the tape.Seeing yourself on video is always a surprise.More makeup next time.

And  then he wrote about our conversation in more depth in his column on job search in Sunday Observer.

And his follow up email to me said: “Thank you- you are great to work with!”. What a classy guy !

I learned a lot  in the experience and will be sharing that in regular newsletter soon.

I hope the information was useful.Several people told me I need to share this kind of info more so  I will think about ways to do that.One person suggested a podcast, anther suggested public tv.Hummm….Your suggestions on that would be helpful & apprecaited.

So thank you to all of you & to Bobby  for sharing the fun!

Related posts:

1. Charlotte Obsever Article on Job Search 2/13/11
2. Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again
3. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION

“The only journey is the journey within.”

Wow- it was quite a trip! My recent vacation opened my eyes to many things…not only to the magnificent Rocky Mountains but the magnificent people who helped me get there. Most of them were complete strangers.

Not only was it a journey to a different place in the mountains but also a different place within me. Both locations were, at times, somewhat scary but very interesting.

The Great Old Broads have Style

In our hot NC summers, I like to go to somewhere cool so when I read about the Great Old Broads for the Wilderness trip to The Colorado Rockies, I was delighted. I could reconnect with an old friend in Denver and then camp out with the “Broads”. And be part of this amazing group dedicated to environmental causes as well as having fun. ”Libations for Happy Hour” were listed in instructions on what to bring….my kind of camping.

Those people are “Strangers”

The logistics of getting from Denver to the camp- 300+ miles away and getting gear across the country and other considerations seemed daunting but I kept thinking that somehow it could be done. I didn’t have a clue as to how.

Before I left, several people said ‘ “But you will be around strangers- you don’t know anyone in that group”. Little did I realize that this was a great advantage!

Exploring the Ins & Outs of Travel

I did find that one of the gifts of travel is to explore different places, including the ones you carry around inside of you.

Faking my strong woman act came young. I was raised to be very self-sufficient and take care of things myself. Early I learned to say the “Everything is just fine” line with the fake smile plastered on. And while this early training has been useful in many ways, it has also sometimes kept me from being truthful about what I was feeling and, of course, seldom asking for help. Sometimes, this has caused me to feel isolated and weary as I had to do it all myself.

The Kindness of Strangers

But on this trip, I truly began to learn to “rely on the kindness of strangers” because that was all that was around me. I had to ask for help regularly. And I also found that, just telling the truth about how I was feeling opened up vast amounts of support that I didn’t even know I wanted but loved having. And it connected me in very powerful ways.

The list of gifts, support & fun from folks I didn’t know is very long and I am very grateful for it all. The generosity still astounds me. From open arms hospitality from some one I had not seen in 15 years, to “taxi” service all over Denver, to a 600-mile ride, a hot shower and a stay in a luxury trailer, I was beautifully taken care of.

It’s Blowing In the Wind

But the best gift was how this trip showed me a part of myself that needed to be  “blown away ” by the mountain wind. It was time to let go of an old, worn out way of being.

It was time to give up the “I can do it myself ” act and leave it like a pair of hiking boots that don’t fit any more. I”m trading them in for support, comfort & a new style. The sense of freedom is as intoxicating as the mountain views.

It only took a 3000-mile trip for me to find out that sharing my journey is all it takes to turn strangers into friends. I’m never alone because strangers are everywhere.

Sometimes I’m a little slow…but I do finally get there.

Broads Help Each Other Cross a Stream

Related posts:

1. THE MISSING LINK….HEALTH, HOPE, & HAPPINESS
2. The Gift of Fog Woman
3. Don’t Fence Me In

WONDER WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE?

Ever had the experience of where you realize that something you that used to make you feel good …an outfit, a place or even a person…don’t seem to fit right or feel as good as they once did? What happened to it while I wasn’t looking?

I have been having that experience lately.

When this happens, I usually try to deny it or try to make it work by putting in lots of effort to recapture what I am losing. I will make it work, I say…which of course is just asking for more frustration but then, I’m a slow learner.

Often I felt naked & vulnerable as it feels like things that have changed things are the things make me feel secure. I resent  that I didn’t have a choice that my “blankness “ are going w away.

With lots of resistance...

It started to happen last fall when I had some health challenges and was advised to slow down some and not work so hard. I knew it was good advice and although difficult to put into practice, I liked the idea. And thought it would be great to have more time for myself.

So with some (lots) of resistance, I began to let go of some projects and obligations.

When winter came, I enjoyed some hibernating but still kept my long list of “to dos”. The quiet voiced kept asking me, ” Who would you be without all the doing?” It was scary to think of that.

But by spring, I began to get restless and felt “fenced in” by all the “musts & shoulds” I had built around me.

With reluctance, it began to occur to me all the “duties “ gave me some identity as well as kept me very busy with no time to look around.

The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.

And while that was very good for a long time, I could also see that it also kept me in one place. My protection “fences” had, in some ways, became barriers. The “safe places “ no longer fit or felt as good.

I began to see that I needed to slow down so I could pay attention at first. But now I needed to clear some room to grow…. I needed more wide-open spaces and fewer fences.

If every day is filled, it leaves little room for creating & exploring.

What would my life be like if I could let go a little and open space for new and old dreams to appear? And if I could allow myself to feel unsure and naked a bit, maybe I could take down some of my “fear fence”…and I might have a great new view!

So now as I take baby steps in exploring some new areas, I like playing the old cowboy song, ” Don’t Fence Me In “ and the Dixie Chicks wonderful song celebrating “Wide Open Spaces” .

They remind me that it is only in outgrowing our fences, that we are truly free

Related posts:

1. STRENGTH FOR THE JOURNEY
2. THE MISSING LINK….HEALTH, HOPE, & HAPPINESS
3. Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again

“People are like stained glass windows.Sparkle & shine when the sun shines but when it is dark, you only see the beauty if there is light within

History is really on my mind now with Black History month just passed, Women’s History in March this month & in own birthday coming up soon. All of these make me reflect what history and heroes really are. In the midst of living our lives we don’t often see the things we are doing with much  appreciation  of they really mean.

For many of us, when we think of our own history, it appears to be a story of missed opportunities, wrong turns and failures.Yet when we learn about others people’s history,we often see their struggles as very important parts of the story. But of course, living thru those challenges doesn’t seem very inspiring at the time.

Just doing what needs to be done.

Just doing what needs to be done seems very ordinary when you are the one doing it but very important to the people it affects. Rosa Parks said she just wanted to sit down on the bus after a long day at work. Betty Friedan just wrote a book ( The Feminine Mystique ) about housewives like herself that help to start  the Women’s movement

Her “cloudy lens” story.

Recently a client gave a great example of how our own views are often cloudy.

She had quit her unfulfilling job to start her own business when her husband was laid off. She tried to keep her business going but soon realized that it was not going to support her family and the stress was causing lots of problems. So she went back to her previous profession to get some money coming in and put her dream of her own business on hold.

Like so many of us, she felt she was just “doing what needed to be done”.

Yet, as she told me her story, it was filled with self-criticism of what she should have done and the mistakes she felt she had made. She was crying as she told it.

I suggested that she was seeing it thru a “cloudy lens” ‘and that she could

re-write her story to focus on the effect of what she had done…saving her family. And that is a very big deal to them.

My own history and inheritance.

I know this story very well as my mother did the same thing. She went to work for the first time at age 42 and eventually opened a business as a way to support us when my father became ill. Her courage and willingness to do  “what needed to be done ” are the best inheritance I have.

A New Story

As I retold my client’s  story, from new  point of view, her tears stopped  and she begin to smile.

“What a gift…and a relief- to see it thru  other eyes. I never thought of it that way. I think I’ll change my story,” she said.

This long-term effect is huge…. Rosa Parks  just sat on a bus, Betty Friedan just wrote a book, but both of these ordinary acts changed our lives.

What Heros Are

Hero are not born, I think, but are often ordinary people who just do what needs to be done and in doing that, give the rest of us a much different and better history.

So I hope you will write yourself  a new story.

I’d love to hear it.

So that’s my story and I ‘m  sticking to it.

And I hope you will too.

Related posts:

1. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION
2. My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun
3. Transitions…Endings & Beginnings

COLUMNISTS »

Bobby Sisk

Watch Bobby Sisk weekdays at 4 and 5:30 p.m. on the Observer’s News Partner, WCNC, NewsChannel 36.

E-mail Bobby Sisk or call 704-329-3625

Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/02/13/2055636/former-recruiter-find-balance.html#ixzz1EK9vWSPk

Related posts:

1. My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun
2. Lookit! I’m on TV!
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” If the only prayer you ever say is Thank You , that is enough.”   Meister Eckhart

Dear Friends,

And so I want to let you know that I am grateful to you for staying on my list,for reading what I send to you and for giving me feedback.I am also very grateful that you ask me to support you by becoming a client,a workshop participant or taking the time to write a comment to me.

So, just know that you are appreciated and valued.
Thank you for enriching my life…and pass the turkey!

Jeannie

Related posts:

1. Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again
2. LET FREEDOM RING! Celebrate the Sparkles….
3. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION

Meet Cindy Thomson, a woman who reclaimed her dream and inspires us to remember that is never too late to spread some joy.

Cindy has just recorded her first CD & on 11/14 she is having a CD release party party     with the live band who recorded with her. It will be a great way to applaud her and her dream. (See info in sidebar). We hear that Tommy Tomlinson columnist for the Charlotte Observer will be there to write a story about her journey.

She did what she had to do.

Like many single moms, Cindy did what she had to do to support her two kids. She went back to college to finish her degree in accounting, rather than one in music, as she really wanted. . She sang when she could but never felt that she could pursue a music career. Her dream was put up and put off. But dreams are persistent & she finally got her chance and took it.

Now was the time…Music was calling.

She was laided off last year and tried to get another accounting job but music kept calling her. As a boomer and grandmother, she realized that if she was ever going to do it, now was the time. She felt that she needed to do this for herself and others like her who had had to put their dreams aside.

“With some coaching & family support, I finally began to believe that I deserved to do what I really wanted to do. I have never been so happy”.

And as often happens when we take a risk, many unexpected sources of support …like the Grammy nominated musicians, an outstanding producer and the superb sound studio…came to assist her. Her mother’s lovely artwork is on the CD cover.And so she created a CD.

THE SWEET THINGS IN LIFE CD is full of uplifting music and old favorites because Cindy feels we all need a lift these days. These songs have been a good reminder of hope for many year

And so in sharing the song that has always been in her heart, Cindy has put a song in our lives. And what a sweet thing that is.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Fence Me In
2. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION
3. LET FREEDOM RING! Celebrate the Sparkles….

Having Fun + Making a Difference

Related posts:

1. STRENGTH FOR THE JOURNEY
2. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION
3. Don’t Fence Me In