The Pink House

The Pink House

“PINK HOUSES,PALACES & PRODUCE “

“You can never have enough of what you don’t really want”

It all started with 12 cans of tomatoes. On a cold rainy Saturday, I decided it was time to clean out my pantry. It seemed like a good thing to do, as my social calendar was blank. So I set to work and felt very vitreous.

   12 Cans of Tomatoes?

That was, until I found 12 cans of various tomato products in my pantry. What in the world was I doing with 12 cans of tomatoes?

How did that happen? I like tomatoes but I can’t use 12 cans for a long time… what was I thinking? Obviously not much! It was mindless buying with little thought.

Hummm.. it seem like I’ve heard those words before. How often have I bought “stuff” because it was on sale or thought it was a quick feel better fix ? Finding all those tomatoes stacked before me caused me to think about questions I’ve been struggling with recently. How much is too much? When is it enough? How much do I really need to feel satisfied and secure?

  Tough questions..

Tough questions for me with little answers. But since we are just past the “too much of everything” season, this seem like a good time to explore them.

The question of “what is enough?” was stirred up with me while reading Geneen Roth’s best selling book,

“Lost and Found”.

She is best known for her books and work in the area of compulsive eating. But in this book, Geneen describes her life experiences after losing money with Bernie Maddoff’s investment scheme. The insightful information she provides  on “what is enough?” applies to money & stuff, as well as food.

And as often happens after a major loss, Geneen  began to explore what is really valuable in her life. Even after her financial loss, Geneen had what most of us would see as wealth. She began to realize that no matter how much of anything (money, food, clothes, clients, etc.) she had, it never felt rich enough for her.

Sometimes I have felt that way too.

An email from a friend in the Peace Corp working in Africa looked  at the same question. My friend lives in a small pink house (pictured above) without electricity or running water. At times, she felt frustrated by not having these things even though  she has one of the best houses in the village. She felt that way until she met an much older woman doing the same type of work as my friend but for another organization. This woman lived in a very small leaky old tent. After thinking  about this, my friend decided  her small pink house was really a “palace.” and  became deeply aware that she had plenty.

So it seems that no matter what you do or don’t have materially, we are all faced with the question :

What do  I need to feel content, satisfied and secure?  

A peaceful place in between.

I realize that I don’t often know…in part because I don’t stop to think about or to pay attention to what I already have. I don’t think living in deprivation or martyrdom works either because it makes you deny that you need anything. Denial is always a trap.

But surely there is a peaceful place in between. And I do enjoy many things that make my life easier & will fight  if you take my Ben & Jerry’s away.

But very,very slowly, I am finding that simply asking myself..”How much is enough? Makes me pause long enough to explore it. And usually I find that it is not the amount or even what I have, but the delight and appreciation of I have that is the fulfilling & satisfying part.

And I can never have too much of that, including gratitude for Cherry Garcia!

I really do live in a palace…and I’ll bet you do too.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Fence Me In
2. My 5 Minutes of Fame & Fun
3. PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION

When my colleague, brilliant writer, & Soulo member  Tamela Rich did the same thing some time ago she commented that she felt like an Amish woman who had just been given a Ferrari. And wow, she was so right. I feel like I have gone from a quiet comfortable place to live (a regular website) into an alternative universe – blogging– and I am not sure I can fit in here. I’m sure for many people this would be a ho hum experience but for a “technologically disadvantaged’ person like me, it is a big step.

Lessons Learned

I learned a lot about myself during this move, most of which gives me more empathy for what my clients in transition face. Like many clients who want to make a shift in their lives, I both loved and feared the move to a blogsite. I loved the idea of the possibilities of blogging  but when confronted with the reality of what I need to do, all my fears and insecurities come swirling up like ghosts at Halloween.

Can I really learn how to do this? Will it be worth the time & money? Will anyone read it anyway?  On and on and on. I scare myself with old fears and made up monsters. By the time I am finished with my “haunted house” I want to hide under the bed & never come out.

But of course, I finally have to emerge and look around.

How ironic that I teach others how to calm their fears but let the monsters get to me. I am just like everyone else…I scare myself with “what ifs”. It certainly gives me more insight into what fear can do and how energy sucking it can be. I know that this is not a life-threatening situation but it is amazing how invasive it becomes.

When I get a little perspective on it, I realize that these “fear ghosts” are what we all feel when we take a risk or move away from our comfort zones.

Since we often teach what we need to learn, I realized I need to apply that to myself. So I talk to myself just like I do my clients (glad no one can hear me!) to remember that I have learned many other things in my life, that I have what I tell others they need — a great support team in Tamela & Andy  Ciordia (the blog tech guru) of Nuance Labs Consulting  and that I will love getting comments from people. When I focus on these things, it really helps. I’m not driving much yet but I am in the car.

And I think I really look good in a Ferrari.

Related posts:

1. The Gift of Fog Woman
2. Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again
3. Transitions…Endings & Beginnings