WITH A SONG IN HER HEART

Meet Cindy Thomson, a woman who reclaimed her dream and inspires us to remember that is never too late to spread some joy.

Cindy has just recorded her first CD & on 11/14 she is having a CD release party party     with the live band who recorded with her. It will be a great way to applaud her and her dream. (See info in sidebar). We hear that Tommy Tomlinson columnist for the Charlotte Observer will be there to write a story about her journey.

She did what she had to do.

Like many single moms, Cindy did what she had to do to support her two kids. She went back to college to finish her degree in accounting, rather than one in music, as she really wanted. . She sang when she could but never felt that she could pursue a music career. Her dream was put up and put off. But dreams are persistent & she finally got her chance and took it.

Now was the time…Music was calling.

She was laided off last year and tried to get another accounting job but music kept calling her. As a boomer and grandmother, she realized that if she was ever going to do it, now was the time. She felt that she needed to do this for herself and others like her who had had to put their dreams aside.

“With some coaching & family support, I finally began to believe that I deserved to do what I really wanted to do. I have never been so happy”.

And as often happens when we take a risk, many unexpected sources of support …like the Grammy nominated musicians, an outstanding producer and the superb sound studio…came to assist her. Her mother’s lovely artwork is on the CD cover.And so she created a CD.

THE SWEET THINGS IN LIFE CD is full of uplifting music and old favorites because Cindy feels we all need a lift these days. These songs have been a good reminder of hope for many year

And so in sharing the song that has always been in her heart, Cindy has put a song in our lives. And what a sweet thing that is.

The Gift of Fog Woman

In August, I took an amazing trip on a ferry up the coast of Alaska. We stopped at some of the small towns along the way and I became fascinated with the tradition of totem poles. They are stunningly beautiful but also tell stories about culture.

I learned about a totem named for
Fog Woman, a mythical woman who ushers in salmon with the fog to feed her people and keep them safe.

I decided that I wanted to find a small replica of the Fog Woman totem  to take back with me as a special symbol. I found a small hand carved totem and now it sits now on my desk. Little did I know how powerful that would soon be for me!

Tired and a little down when I returned, I figured this is to be expected after such a trip. When my fatigue and low mood did not change after a couple of weeks, I became concerned. I also felt like I was really wandering around in the proverbial “fog “.
(So o.k., maybe I am usually like that but this was a lot, even for me!)

As I explored the roots of this feeling, I realized I felt like a salmon swimming upstream, and it was very tiring.  I wrote it off to September being a busy time for me and kept going. Eventually, I had a routine physical exam which showed nothing wrong. Yet, my inner self whispered a different message.

Finally paying attention to the inner voice, I consulted a wonderful holistic practitioner who said, “Your mind, heart and spirit are so strong that you don’t realize that your body cannot always keep up.” As soon as she said this, I knew it was true and was exactly what I had needed to hear. I had been getting these messages but didn’t want to hear them. At some level it was a relief because she confirmed what my body had been telling me. Now  I was ready to listen.

I remembered that about 3 years ago I felt I wanted to to slow down a bit and play more. But when the recession and the accompanying fear hit, I ramped back up and just kept pushing.  Clearly now my body was saying that I need to go back to my original plan and re-prioritize how to spend my energy.

Amazing that a small wooden image had the perfect message for me! Fog Woman showed that the gifts of abundance can come out of a fog.  I don’t need to always “push the river” and be afraid that I won’t have what I need. Wonderful things come to me when I relax and operate not out of fear and scarcity but out of peace and reflection. Look what gifts I was given from this trip.

And yes, I am a little less “foggy” now …back to my normal level anyway and am feeling much renewed and restored.
Who knew a vacation could do so much…I think I’ll plan another one soon.

PEOPLE WITH PURPOSE & PASSION

MEET SOME AMAZING WOMEN !

I am so fortunate in my work and life because many people I meet are making a difference simply because they have purpose and passion…and love to share it!

Part of my business is coaching entrepreneurs, some in the beginning of their dream & others who are growing their business and their life. And, SOULO,the entrepreneur mastermind group I have been facilitating for 8 years, has introduced me to many more of these purposed passionate people. These people may not always get the spotlight, but they shine a bright light all around. I think you would like to meet them.

Carolyn Cook, a great example of taking your knowledge and making life better for others, created LiveSmartDesign to modify houses for people with physical challenges to stay in their homes. Sometimes people can’t sell their homes or don’t want to move, yet their houses are no longer safe or functional for them. Carolyn helps change their situation with her business.

Carolyn was a senior designer for an architectural firm when she was laid off at the same time as her husband. It was a scary time, but she decided that it was the perfect time to launch her business idea. She took courses in business & green building, got her Aging In Place Certification, and attended many meetings to learn what was needed in our community.

She also joined SOULO and shared her experiences. Now she teaches a course on “Aging in Place Design” for Central Piedmont Community College (CPCC). Carolyn is wonderful example of a woman who refused to be put on the shelf and is making sure to share her experiences so others have the same opportunity.

Another person who turned her layoff into a new service with purpose and passion is  Rev Ellizabeth Hyland She was a Presbyterian Chaplin working in a large medical center when she was laid off. She experienced firsthand the stress, isolation and depression that a job loss can generate. She began to do something about it by organizing the inspirational, “From Stress to Success” seminars. These were very successful and helpful to unemployed folks. (A gift to me was sharing in the experience because I was one the speakers.)

Then she wrote a book, Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress to Success, about her experiences and now is a spiritual coach for job seekers. You can get her book & lots helpful hints on her website: Elizabeth Hyland webbiste

Elizabeth, with her example and her work, is changing the lives of many.

And people with purpose & passion inspire me to do the same…thank you..

New Blog Bite-An Energizing Event!

CHRISTMAS IN JULY …
And I got the gift.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

Isn’t it amazing — when we give to someone we often receive much more than we have given? I do believe that “paying it forward” is one of the most important actions we can take. Sometimes, though, I feel overwhelmed at the many problems facing us. This is why I love being a part of an “Energizing Event” to experience the Margaret Mead quote firsthand and sharing gift with you. I know small groups really do make big changes.

Recently, my favorite networking group, Carolina Professional Sales & Entrepreneurs (CPSE) did what they do best by supporting women who are making a difference. I have the honor of serving on the CPSE Board and it has been a big support for my business and personal life.

The CPSE held their July meeting at the “Dress for Success” organization in Charlotte where we learned about this very powerful program which helps women get & keep jobs…some for the first time in their lives! The Dress for Success program, a national organization, thoroughly prepares women to enter the workforce. Not only do they give women the appropriate clothes for a job interview (we all know how important that is), they also teach them how to be successful in their jobs and in their personal lives. The Charlotte Dress for Success program is so effective, the women they help have a 90%+ job retention rate — much better than other locations.

While CPSE has traditionally held a “fun social” in the summer, this year we decided to support the Charlotte Dress for Success program’s with our presence, lunch for their staff and the $500 we donated. We also enjoyed a delicious lunch catered by King’s Kitchen, a nonprofit organization which teaches culinary skills to people who have been homeless and donates the proceeds to hunger relief projects. Supporting two helpful organizations in one day was such a gift to us!
At this event, memories served another gift to me. I was reminded of the women I worked with for years who were coming out of jail or rehabilitation programs. Up close, I saw the enormous obstacles they faced. Their indomitable courage and unwavering devotion to their families both inspired and humbled me. It was a great gift to share their lives.

And so attending this year’s CPSE event was a wonderful reminder to honor those for whom I am grateful, to remember what is important and to look for times to gift other people by “paying it forward.”

We don’t have to wait until Christmas for our gifts!

MIDLIFE, MILES AND MIRACLES

This is a story about a midlife crisis that resulted in internal and external miracles…and the many miles that were traveled along the way.

Midlife crisis is usually joked about as the time when people buy the fancy sports and find a young, good-looking person to ride in it. But even if you don’t approach this time in that way, midlife is certainly a time to reexamine your life, make some big changes and perhaps go in a different direction.

This is the story about how one woman is doing that & is inspiring others to create their own “new journey”.

The Inner Journey

About three years ago, Soulo Entrepreneurs member, Tamela Rich came to me to help her deal with the loss of her business and to help her find a new career direction. Tamela did a lot of inner work to connect with what she really wanted to do. She had long loved to write but had, like many of us, not seen using her talent as a viable business. But as she connected with her passion, her energy returned and doors began to open for her.

She created a successful business writing for financial markets. And after having dealt with her own crisis, she decided to write about the trade offs everyone must make in life. With the financial meltdown still playing out, she’s researching the book by talking to financial traders across the country about their trade offs  – personally and professionally.

She also wanted to have some fun, live a dream, and make a difference…All great midlife goals

So next week, she will start riding across the country to conduct her research, not in a shiny sports car, but on a shiny new motorcycle. Along the way she’ll be raising money for The National Breast Cancer Foundation.

The Outer Journey

Of course, there were a few obstacles to realizing her dream. Minor ones like she had never ridden a motorcycle.

She had little money of her own, didn’t know many people around the country, and a few other “minor”  challenges.

Oh yeah, and she didn’t have a motorcycle or the means to buy on

And some people who asked her,  “What are you thinking? “ and other discouraging remarks.

The Dream

But she had a dream and out of that dream has come some miracles –like the new BMW motorcycle and the dozens of “little” sponsorships from friends. strangers and businesses across the country. In the spirit of “If you build it, they will come,” her dream is coming tru

Biker Babe

And on June 26, she will start her “outward journey” with lots of support. plenty of contacts, a book contract and a new bike. In the process, she has inspired all of us to reconnect with our passions and find a way to make a difference in the world…especially our own.

Tamela gives a new meaning to “You Rock, Biker Babe!

You can follow Tamela’s travels on  Roadtrip.TamelaRich.com

Lookit! I’m on TV!

I had the wonderful fortune to be interviewed by WCNC /

Channel 36,reporter, Bobby Sisk, for my  support group   called  “The Bucket Brigade ” for people who are unemployed or in some type of transition.The article was also featured in 5/23 Charlotte

Observer Business section.

It was a little scary to do and of course when I saw myself on t.v. , I was surprised at how I looked .But it was also fun and exciting and I hope that it will help some of the  folks who are stressed and need some support.

It’s the part of being laid off many people don’t expect: the emotional toll it takes to lose one job and then look for another.

That’s where Dr. Jeannie Fennell of  tries to help. A psychologist, she started a job support group last November called the Bucket Brigade.

“I realized there was a lot of help for resume writing, but not a lot for what is the stress part and the toll it takes on you physically and emotionally,” she said.

The group meets the first and third Wednesday of each month at Julia’s Coffee in the Habitat for Humanity ReStore on Wendover Road. At this week’s meeting, six job seekers showed up and talked openly about the emotional process of figuring out what’s next.

“I worked in nonprofit for 12 years,” said 63-year-old Cindy Thomson.

Laid off last April, Thomson says she understood why her agency had to make cuts, but she still felt like she’d been rejected.

“I’m not that far from retirement age, so I say if you’re my age and you get laid off, you might be retired,” she said, laughing.

Thomson has attended the meetings since they started and finds the candid discussions helpful.

“I don’t do well at home by myself. My batteries will run down. I like to be around people so this group really helps,” she said.

Fennell said, “I hope that eventually this group goes away and that we don’t really need this anymore.”

But with more layoffs — this time in county government and schools — she expects the need to increase.

People  with Great Courage

“I’m just very, very, very fortunate to be able to do this and be with these people and hear their stories. They are people with great courage,” Fennell said.

Fennell knows the pain of a pink slip firsthand. Before going back to school to get her doctorate in psychology, she worked as a recruiter and in human resources. She has hired and been fired.

“I often say I’ve been the person on both sides of the desk – the person looking for work and the person employed. In fact, when I moved to Charlotte, within about two months of being relocated by a company, I got laid off. I didn’t know anybody and it was really a tough time,” she said.

At each meeting a bucket is placed in the center of the table. Thomson says the message it sends is two-fold.

“One thing is you put doubts and fears and impatience in the bucket and leave it. And with the Bucket Brigade, there’s the analogy of throwing water on a fire and it takes a lot of people to pass the bucket, so we can all communicate with each other and understand what we’re all going through,” she said.

Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/05/23/1450666/bucket-brigade-helps-carry-stress.html#ixzz0oyjFp2UI

Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again

LifeLearnings…Musings and Perspectives on our changing times

Remember what happened to Alice in Wonderland?

She fell down a rabbit hole into a strange land where the rules didn’t make sense and the all the signposts were backwards.

Alice kept asking for help to find her way but got confusing instructions. The queen of the land threatened to take off her head if Alice didn’t follow orders, but the orders were impossible to execute.

Over the last year or so,I have been feeling like Alice. The world seemed crazy. And I know many who feel the same. We have fallen down a hole and can’t get out. The signposts don’t make any sense. The landscape is different. What we are “supposed” to do is impossible and real directions seemed hard to find.

But as I have stumbled around myself and have helped others navigate through their changes, I have found out something very helpful and comforting.

That something is my essential self.

What’s the essential self? Our heart and our soul — those parts of us that are our character, are the same. They have not changed, no matter what else has. The essential self is as distinctive as the shape of our head or the way we walk. Whatever happened externally, the inside is much the same. On the inside is our values, our integrity and yes, our quirks and eccentric ways. Whatever made us valuable and unique is still there and usable, even if dented and scratched.

Whew..Realizing that was a great relief. I can count on those things within me that I have honed over my lifetime…they are not going to desert me. I can feel safe. I have only lost the outside stuff, not what is really valuable.

Realizing this, a quiet joy began to emerge because while everything else can be replaced or discarded, I, the essential me, will never go away.

And while I’m not grinning like the Cheshire Cat, I am smiling more and that’s a good sign. And yes, as the song says.”Still crazy after all these years” and I refuse to lose that.

And I hope you are the same.

SHIFT Drumming Circle

A group for Women who desire a shift from the routine of everyday life and move towards experiencing the ancient heartbeat of the Earth using drums, rattles, dance, song and heart to heart conversation.

A sacred place to rediscover women’s spirituality and wisdom using rhythm.

No Experience Necessary!

Love Offering Accepted.

UPCOMING DATES: MAY 14TH & JUNE 25

7:00-9:00 pm

Contact me for location.

For 2 years I have hosted a free drumming circle in the summer. This circle is facilitated by Belinda Haverdill, http://www.belindahaverdill.com/ a counselor & a member of Soulo entrepreneur’s group. She wanted to have the drumming be outside and I volunteered my back porch. I’ve enjoyed it a lot & met some great women.

I really appreciate having Belinda organize it and I just get to be a participant; a welcome change of pace for me.

I’m really not a drummer but I like to make noise so I have lots of rattles and other toys to play with. I find it a great way to release stress and have some fun.

THE CIRCLE THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND

Women Holding Up the World

“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead

I  was crying…

It was a very hot August day and I was crying. I felt depressed and lonely. I was overwhelmed, stressed and didn’t know where to get any help.

I had started my business and while it was slowly growing, so was my despair.

The isolation of working alone, trying to know all I needed to know and keep up with it all was overwhelming me.  It was just too much to do by myself. Friends and family just didn’t get what I was doing and thought I just laid around all day.

A job a Wal-Mart was looking good

Slowly it dawned on me that I could not be the only person who felt like this and maybe by getting us together we could help each other.

So out of my despair, the entrepreneurs support group, SOULO was born.  Seven years later I now know help is close by in the lives of other women; I just have to as

Ordinary women making history

So this is an article about “ordinary” women making history by just being themselves and making a difference right where they are.

Most of them started a business because of economic necessity and equally important, because they wanted to make a difference in their world.

And I can honestly say, without their ideas, inspiration, advice and savvy, I would be working at Wal-Mart.

Over the years, women with a variety of businesses have been a part of the group. From a goat farmer to CEOs…all have come together to grow themselves, their businesses and each other. Someday I’m going to write a book about all of them but for now, let me introduce the current members and you will see what what I mean.

Meet these amazing Women

Meg Houlihan, Ph.D. ,has been in the group almost since it started and her quiet wisdom has added so much to all us.Meg is a psychologist in private practice and she supports people, especially children, to deal with stress thru connections with nature. Her community activism and her commitment to the environment as well as her family inspire us.(Dr. Houlihan)

Carolyn Cook is the newest member and created her business, LiveSmart Designs after she was laid off. Carolyn helps people with physical issues stay in their homes by redesigning & configuring ways to both be “green” and to be accessible. She is currently teaching “Aging in Place ” at CPCC. Her energy and openness is contagious.

Belinda Haverdill, psychotherapist, came to SOULO to find way to expand her work with woman and support their healing. Belinda has studied many traditions and spiritual paths and wanted to share her knowledge. She now leads retreats, a drumming circle and many other growth experiences.She now sees herself as a expanding entrepreneur. Belinda’s gentle caring supports us all. www.belindahaverdill.com

Tamela Rich came to the group after her business had to close and she wanted to find a way a create work out of her love of writing. She is now a sought after writer for financial markets. She is planning a cross-country motorcycle tour to gather material for a book and even has a book agent. Tam inspires us by her use of social media and willingness to take risks. www.TamelaRich.com

They think they are ordinary...

And they think they are just “ordinary” women….making history by being themselves.

I am honored to know them and to know I am not alone.

They are holding up the world…. each other, and especially me.

Without them, I would be lucky to working at Wal-Mart!

****************.

History, Heritage and Hope

If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see all your ancestors.

All of them are alive and present in your body.

You are the continuation of these people.

Thich Nhat Hanh

We can gather strength today from the women who came before us. They often had challenges that we can’t imagine. Remembering them can give us strength and hope. If they did it ,so can we.

Women’s History is so important yet it is often overlooked. Since whoever is the “victor” usually writes the history, women’s contributions are often not recorded and therefore not celebrated

We can’t Honor what we don’t know.

We can’t honor what we don’t know. The contributions of women are unsung and they are usually too busy to record it themselves.

For most of my life, I didn’t think of my friends and the women in my family as heroines, but I have come to see them that way today.

I’m very sure there are women in your life whose lives deserve recognition and appreciation, including yours.

Remembering them gives me hope and courage – they faced and overcame so much. I am very grateful that their stories and their heritage have been passed down to me.

The Red Taffeta Petticoat

In my Thanksgiving letter, I wrote about my grandmother, who grew up without electricity and lived to see a man on the moon. She lived through two wars with two sons in service, weathered the Great Depression, and buried 3 husbands but still loved to dance in her red taffeta petticoat. And she thought she was nothing special.

My mother had cancer at an early age but felt she had to live to take care of her kids. While pregnant, she experienced a world war that carried two brothers into service. She had never worked outside her home but started a florist business at age 42 when my father became ill. Through very hard work she was able to send me to college. She loved to laugh and spread beauty, through her flowers, to many people. And she thought she just did what anyone would do.

We are not alone.

I know so many women like them who think they are nothing special but they truly keep the world going. And they pass on their example of courage and love of life to us.

We cannot honor them any more than to remember them and pass on their stories and their joy. And to remember, when we feel overwhelmed, that we are part of an amazing heritage and we can’t do any less. We are not alone.

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