New Blog Bite-An Energizing Event!

CHRISTMAS IN JULY …
And I got the gift.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead

Isn’t it amazing — when we give to someone we often receive much more than we have given? I do believe that “paying it forward” is one of the most important actions we can take. Sometimes, though, I feel overwhelmed at the many problems facing us. This is why I love being a part of an “Energizing Event” to experience the Margaret Mead quote firsthand and sharing gift with you. I know small groups really do make big changes.

Recently, my favorite networking group, Carolina Professional Sales & Entrepreneurs (CPSE) did what they do best by supporting women who are making a difference. I have the honor of serving on the CPSE Board and it has been a big support for my business and personal life.

The CPSE held their July meeting at the “Dress for Success” organization in Charlotte where we learned about this very powerful program which helps women get & keep jobs…some for the first time in their lives! The Dress for Success program, a national organization, thoroughly prepares women to enter the workforce. Not only do they give women the appropriate clothes for a job interview (we all know how important that is), they also teach them how to be successful in their jobs and in their personal lives. The Charlotte Dress for Success program is so effective, the women they help have a 90%+ job retention rate — much better than other locations.

While CPSE has traditionally held a “fun social” in the summer, this year we decided to support the Charlotte Dress for Success program’s with our presence, lunch for their staff and the $500 we donated. We also enjoyed a delicious lunch catered by King’s Kitchen, a nonprofit organization which teaches culinary skills to people who have been homeless and donates the proceeds to hunger relief projects. Supporting two helpful organizations in one day was such a gift to us!
At this event, memories served another gift to me. I was reminded of the women I worked with for years who were coming out of jail or rehabilitation programs. Up close, I saw the enormous obstacles they faced. Their indomitable courage and unwavering devotion to their families both inspired and humbled me. It was a great gift to share their lives.

And so attending this year’s CPSE event was a wonderful reminder to honor those for whom I am grateful, to remember what is important and to look for times to gift other people by “paying it forward.”

We don’t have to wait until Christmas for our gifts!

NEW! BLOG BITES

YUMMY BLOG TREATS

YUMMY BLOG TREATS

QUICK, TASTY NO-CAL “READABLE SNACKS BITES”

To give you a little lift and a little more life…

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“It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy”

Lyrics from “Porgy & Bess” by Gershwin & Heyward

Sometime around the middle of June, I realized that it was really summer, the time of easy livin’ but I was finding my summer livin’ not so easy. The extremely hot weather meant that I got up earlier so I could walk my dogs or work in the yard. In the evening, I kept working longer because it was too hot to go outside. What happened to my plan of taking life this summer a little easier? As soon as I had an extra space in my schedule, I filled it up with “to do’s”. Finally, I had enough!

So I vowed to at least slip in some easy livin’ time and thought I might share my ideas with you. Maybe you can enjoy some, too. I realized that whatever I did had to be simple, with not much planning or expense and these had to be some things I could just slip in when I was getting cabin fever. So here are a few ideas :

Easy Livin’ Coolers

· Went to free “Movie on the Lawn” at a local church. We brought lawn chairs & church supplied popcorn & drinks. It was definitely old-fashioned fun with a old somewhat corny movie that encouraged clapping & cheering. Lots of churches & parks are doing this- check around your area.

· Spent a wonderful hour at my local library reading magazines. Read things I’d never seen before. There is something about a fresh shiny magazine to enjoy that we just don’t get from magazines on the Internet.

· Slipped in some time to just browse some favorite local shops, The Bag Lady & Green With Envy .

o Read the cards, found some great ideas for gifts

o Chatted with friendly staff and was very impressed with the creativity of displays as well as merchandise.

o Bought a trinket to remind me to “take it easy.”

I’d love to add your ideas to the “Easy Livin’ Coolers List. Send me a comment & I will include it.

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STRESS/LESS STRAGTEGIES

FREE  & FUN

“STRESS/LESS” WORKSHOP

Sponsored by Career Professionals Center,

CPCC, Harris Campus

7/22 · 11:00 -1:00

Learn easy, simple ways to decrease your job search stress so you can enjoy that great  new job when you get it!

Also  appropriate for

friends & family

Contact me for more info:                                                           jeannie@jeanniefennell.com / 704 342 ,1144

Lookit! I’m on TV!

I had the wonderful fortune to be interviewed by WCNC /

Channel 36,reporter, Bobby Sisk, for my  support group   called  “The Bucket Brigade ” for people who are unemployed or in some type of transition.The article was also featured in 5/23 Charlotte

Observer Business section.

It was a little scary to do and of course when I saw myself on t.v. , I was surprised at how I looked .But it was also fun and exciting and I hope that it will help some of the  folks who are stressed and need some support.

It’s the part of being laid off many people don’t expect: the emotional toll it takes to lose one job and then look for another.

That’s where Dr. Jeannie Fennell of  tries to help. A psychologist, she started a job support group last November called the Bucket Brigade.

“I realized there was a lot of help for resume writing, but not a lot for what is the stress part and the toll it takes on you physically and emotionally,” she said.

The group meets the first and third Wednesday of each month at Julia’s Coffee in the Habitat for Humanity ReStore on Wendover Road. At this week’s meeting, six job seekers showed up and talked openly about the emotional process of figuring out what’s next.

“I worked in nonprofit for 12 years,” said 63-year-old Cindy Thomson.

Laid off last April, Thomson says she understood why her agency had to make cuts, but she still felt like she’d been rejected.

“I’m not that far from retirement age, so I say if you’re my age and you get laid off, you might be retired,” she said, laughing.

Thomson has attended the meetings since they started and finds the candid discussions helpful.

“I don’t do well at home by myself. My batteries will run down. I like to be around people so this group really helps,” she said.

Fennell said, “I hope that eventually this group goes away and that we don’t really need this anymore.”

But with more layoffs — this time in county government and schools — she expects the need to increase.

People  with Great Courage

“I’m just very, very, very fortunate to be able to do this and be with these people and hear their stories. They are people with great courage,” Fennell said.

Fennell knows the pain of a pink slip firsthand. Before going back to school to get her doctorate in psychology, she worked as a recruiter and in human resources. She has hired and been fired.

“I often say I’ve been the person on both sides of the desk – the person looking for work and the person employed. In fact, when I moved to Charlotte, within about two months of being relocated by a company, I got laid off. I didn’t know anybody and it was really a tough time,” she said.

At each meeting a bucket is placed in the center of the table. Thomson says the message it sends is two-fold.

“One thing is you put doubts and fears and impatience in the bucket and leave it. And with the Bucket Brigade, there’s the analogy of throwing water on a fire and it takes a lot of people to pass the bucket, so we can all communicate with each other and understand what we’re all going through,” she said.

Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/05/23/1450666/bucket-brigade-helps-carry-stress.html#ixzz0oyjFp2UI

Playing House-A Makeover Just Like on Oprah

Playing House

I felt like I was a little girl again in the playhouse my dad built for me. It was a favorite place to play. It was a place where everyday objects became special things and everything was new.In those days, leaves were plates and flowers were “pretend” food.
It was a place where I could have a  new place to play every  day.

But I am far from a little girl and I was in my own living room but the experience I was having still felt the same. And no, it was not too much wine but something much more interesting.

What was happening to me was the amazing experience of having a professional decorator, Ann Hodges owner of Sensible Space “re-do” my living room.
Ann stages homes for sale, has a booth at Black Lion Gifts and regularly makes the world a prettier place.

Ann is also the President of CPSE (Carolina Professional Sales & Entrepreneurs) where I also serve on the board. One day I complained that I had never liked my living room and she said she would be glad to re-decorate it using my own stuff. It was a very generous offer that I was delighted to accept.

When she came, Ann asked me some questions about what I liked and didn’t like about the room, what worked and didn’t work and then proceeded to move things around. She quickly moved into action and things began to change. Objects I had thought were old or ugly were “re-purposed”, pretty things showed much more and the whole room had much more livable, attractive space. Who knew it could look so good? My living room had a make-over just like on Oprah! And it was fun and energizing.

It took me a few days to get used to it but it feels much better. I really like sitting there now and wonder at the difference another perspective makes.

It took this experience for me to understand what one of my clients meant when she said,

” Working with you is like being in one of those programs on HGTV where they take your old pictures and re-frame them and suddenly, they look good. You look at the ‘old stuff” we have in our lives and put them into new frames and suddenly we see them in a whole new way. You take what we thought was junk and see the possibilities we don’t see. Suddenly everything looks better and works better too.

You told me that my story was powerful when I thought it was painful. But now I have turned that story into a book to help others.”

That’s a real “re-do”.

This client was Rev. Elizabeth Hyland who had gone thru a job loss and wanted to re-make her life and she really has. She organized the very successful “From Stressed to Success ” seminars for unemployed last year where I was a speaker. Now she has written a book “The Unemployment Rollercoaster:From Stress to Success” to support others in the same situation.

(She graciously gave me permission to use her quote & her story.)

And so, I have a new title of “interior decorator ” only I help you re-do  your life instead of your house. My new slogan is ,” If your life needs a “re-do” I’m the one to come to”.And like Ann, I love to help people “re- purpose” the things in their lives and create a better space for them to live. And it is not “pretend” because  the skills you learn really last.

We can all take what we have and make something special out it. We just need a new perspective and someone to play with.

So if you would like to re-new something in your life’s “living room”, call me and we can make everything old be new again.

Including us.

Down the Rabbit Hole and Back Again

LifeLearnings…Musings and Perspectives on our changing times

Remember what happened to Alice in Wonderland?

She fell down a rabbit hole into a strange land where the rules didn’t make sense and the all the signposts were backwards.

Alice kept asking for help to find her way but got confusing instructions. The queen of the land threatened to take off her head if Alice didn’t follow orders, but the orders were impossible to execute.

Over the last year or so,I have been feeling like Alice. The world seemed crazy. And I know many who feel the same. We have fallen down a hole and can’t get out. The signposts don’t make any sense. The landscape is different. What we are “supposed” to do is impossible and real directions seemed hard to find.

But as I have stumbled around myself and have helped others navigate through their changes, I have found out something very helpful and comforting.

That something is my essential self.

What’s the essential self? Our heart and our soul — those parts of us that are our character, are the same. They have not changed, no matter what else has. The essential self is as distinctive as the shape of our head or the way we walk. Whatever happened externally, the inside is much the same. On the inside is our values, our integrity and yes, our quirks and eccentric ways. Whatever made us valuable and unique is still there and usable, even if dented and scratched.

Whew..Realizing that was a great relief. I can count on those things within me that I have honed over my lifetime…they are not going to desert me. I can feel safe. I have only lost the outside stuff, not what is really valuable.

Realizing this, a quiet joy began to emerge because while everything else can be replaced or discarded, I, the essential me, will never go away.

And while I’m not grinning like the Cheshire Cat, I am smiling more and that’s a good sign. And yes, as the song says.”Still crazy after all these years” and I refuse to lose that.

And I hope you are the same.

THE CIRCLE THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND

Women Holding Up the World

“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
Margaret Mead

I  was crying…

It was a very hot August day and I was crying. I felt depressed and lonely. I was overwhelmed, stressed and didn’t know where to get any help.

I had started my business and while it was slowly growing, so was my despair.

The isolation of working alone, trying to know all I needed to know and keep up with it all was overwhelming me.  It was just too much to do by myself. Friends and family just didn’t get what I was doing and thought I just laid around all day.

A job a Wal-Mart was looking good

Slowly it dawned on me that I could not be the only person who felt like this and maybe by getting us together we could help each other.

So out of my despair, the entrepreneurs support group, SOULO was born.  Seven years later I now know help is close by in the lives of other women; I just have to as

Ordinary women making history

So this is an article about “ordinary” women making history by just being themselves and making a difference right where they are.

Most of them started a business because of economic necessity and equally important, because they wanted to make a difference in their world.

And I can honestly say, without their ideas, inspiration, advice and savvy, I would be working at Wal-Mart.

Over the years, women with a variety of businesses have been a part of the group. From a goat farmer to CEOs…all have come together to grow themselves, their businesses and each other. Someday I’m going to write a book about all of them but for now, let me introduce the current members and you will see what what I mean.

Meet these amazing Women

Meg Houlihan, Ph.D. ,has been in the group almost since it started and her quiet wisdom has added so much to all us.Meg is a psychologist in private practice and she supports people, especially children, to deal with stress thru connections with nature. Her community activism and her commitment to the environment as well as her family inspire us.(Dr. Houlihan)

Carolyn Cook is the newest member and created her business, LiveSmart Designs after she was laid off. Carolyn helps people with physical issues stay in their homes by redesigning & configuring ways to both be “green” and to be accessible. She is currently teaching “Aging in Place ” at CPCC. Her energy and openness is contagious.

Belinda Haverdill, psychotherapist, came to SOULO to find way to expand her work with woman and support their healing. Belinda has studied many traditions and spiritual paths and wanted to share her knowledge. She now leads retreats, a drumming circle and many other growth experiences.She now sees herself as a expanding entrepreneur. Belinda’s gentle caring supports us all. www.belindahaverdill.com

Tamela Rich came to the group after her business had to close and she wanted to find a way a create work out of her love of writing. She is now a sought after writer for financial markets. She is planning a cross-country motorcycle tour to gather material for a book and even has a book agent. Tam inspires us by her use of social media and willingness to take risks. www.TamelaRich.com

They think they are ordinary...

And they think they are just “ordinary” women….making history by being themselves.

I am honored to know them and to know I am not alone.

They are holding up the world…. each other, and especially me.

Without them, I would be lucky to working at Wal-Mart!

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History, Heritage and Hope

If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see all your ancestors.

All of them are alive and present in your body.

You are the continuation of these people.

Thich Nhat Hanh

We can gather strength today from the women who came before us. They often had challenges that we can’t imagine. Remembering them can give us strength and hope. If they did it ,so can we.

Women’s History is so important yet it is often overlooked. Since whoever is the “victor” usually writes the history, women’s contributions are often not recorded and therefore not celebrated

We can’t Honor what we don’t know.

We can’t honor what we don’t know. The contributions of women are unsung and they are usually too busy to record it themselves.

For most of my life, I didn’t think of my friends and the women in my family as heroines, but I have come to see them that way today.

I’m very sure there are women in your life whose lives deserve recognition and appreciation, including yours.

Remembering them gives me hope and courage – they faced and overcame so much. I am very grateful that their stories and their heritage have been passed down to me.

The Red Taffeta Petticoat

In my Thanksgiving letter, I wrote about my grandmother, who grew up without electricity and lived to see a man on the moon. She lived through two wars with two sons in service, weathered the Great Depression, and buried 3 husbands but still loved to dance in her red taffeta petticoat. And she thought she was nothing special.

My mother had cancer at an early age but felt she had to live to take care of her kids. While pregnant, she experienced a world war that carried two brothers into service. She had never worked outside her home but started a florist business at age 42 when my father became ill. Through very hard work she was able to send me to college. She loved to laugh and spread beauty, through her flowers, to many people. And she thought she just did what anyone would do.

We are not alone.

I know so many women like them who think they are nothing special but they truly keep the world going. And they pass on their example of courage and love of life to us.

We cannot honor them any more than to remember them and pass on their stories and their joy. And to remember, when we feel overwhelmed, that we are part of an amazing heritage and we can’t do any less. We are not alone.

Transitions…Endings & Beginnings

ENDINGS, BEGINNINGS & THE SOMETIMES DARK HALLWAYS IN-BETWEN

This month we celebrate Black History month and next month, Women’s History month. So I have been thinking about my own history as an entrepreneur and woman in transition and what it means to me.

I notice that I want to “re-live” the successes of the past and hold on to them as a guide for the future. And even though I know that the times are very different now, I find it challenging to change my thinking about my history and look at the new world I am in.

I want it RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes, what once “was” gets in the way of being in the present. Having to change so quickly is upsetting and I want what was secure. I like beginnings but am not so sure about endings. And I really don’t like the dark hallways in between,

I want things to change and change for the better RIGHT NOW.

The Grief of Endings.

Recently one of my clients brought this type of experience to my attention as she cried over having to close part of her previously successful business. She said she kept thinking of how it used to be and was angry and sad that it is gone and said she could not imagine having to starting again.

I realized that she is going thru a grief process where anger and depression are normal stages and that until that is complete, she cannot move on.

We think of grief as only appropriate when a person dying but when part of our work or any other part of our life ends, it is a great loss …not only the money but the dreams, the security, the sense of safety and the identity.

But in order to have beginnings, we have to have endings so I suggested that she create a ceremony to release her business.She could then honor the tangible as well as the intangibles that her business gave her .It had given her much and it deserved an honoring at the end.

Rituals help us let go

Rituals and ceremony can be very powerful in creating appropriate endings…giving us a way to respect our history and mark an ending while celebrating what was.

She did create a ceremony where she burned some business cards, and other  symbols, buried the ashes and then planted flowers there. And yes, she cried but it was cleansing. She said that it was a major step in releasing and going forward. Although grief is a long-term process, she created an ending so she can have a beginning…and her action moved her of out the dark hallway.

Most of us need to do the same in some place in our lives.

And as more of us have to change our work & our lives, it is important and freeing to release the old ways with gratitude and yes, some tears.

In honoring our history, we can appreciate it without it weighing us down.

So if your work or your life has “transitioned”, bless what it gave you and set yourself free to create a new path.

LOOK AT ME. I’M DRIVING A FERRARI!

Well I finally did it. I‘ve moved from a regular website to a blogsite and it has certainly stirred me up.

When my colleague, brilliant writer, & Soulo member  Tamela Rich did the same thing some time ago she commented that she felt like an Amish woman who had just been given a Ferrari. And wow, she was so right. I feel like I have gone from a quiet comfortable place to live (a regular website) into an alternative universe – blogging– and I am not sure I can fit in here. I’m sure for many people this would be a ho hum experience but for a “technologically disadvantaged’ person like me, it is a big step.

Lessons Learned

I learned a lot about myself during this move, most of which gives me more empathy for what my clients in transition face. Like many clients who want to make a shift in their lives, I both loved and feared the move to a blogsite. I loved the idea of the possibilities of blogging  but when confronted with the reality of what I need to do, all my fears and insecurities come swirling up like ghosts at Halloween.

Can I really learn how to do this? Will it be worth the time & money? Will anyone read it anyway?  On and on and on. I scare myself with old fears and made up monsters. By the time I am finished with my “haunted house” I want to hide under the bed & never come out.

But of course, I finally have to emerge and look around.

How ironic that I teach others how to calm their fears but let the monsters get to me. I am just like everyone else…I scare myself with “what ifs”. It certainly gives me more insight into what fear can do and how energy sucking it can be. I know that this is not a life-threatening situation but it is amazing how invasive it becomes.

When I get a little perspective on it, I realize that these “fear ghosts” are what we all feel when we take a risk or move away from our comfort zones.

Since we often teach what we need to learn, I realized I need to apply that to myself. So I talk to myself just like I do my clients (glad no one can hear me!) to remember that I have learned many other things in my life, that I have what I tell others they need — a great support team in Tamela & Andy  Ciordia (the blog tech guru) of Nuance Labs Consulting  and that I will love getting comments from people. When I focus on these things, it really helps. I’m not driving much yet but I am in the car.

And I think I really look good in a Ferrari.