THE MISSING LINK….HEALTH, HOPE, & HAPPINESS
“More fun than Sweating and Spinach”
“Medical Science does not know how to quantify the healing effects of joy.” Nelsa Ciaponni, MD
Dusty had a double mastectomy 5 years ago, but the cancer had returned. She had lots of unsuccessful chemo, and her future looked
bleak. Doctors recommended a drug trial, but she knew that it would mean that she would not be able to have quality time with her daughter in the last summer before she left for college.
So Dusty made a radical decision. She stopped the chemo and decided to pack as much good times into that summer as she could. She joined hundreds of other women riding their motorcycles across the county to raise awareness and money for breast cancer. And she soaked up lots of her daughter’s company. When the summer was over, she went in for a medical check up. She was found to be CANCER FREE!
When I read this story in Tamela Rich’s book “Full Throttle,”“ I was thrilled for Dusty, but not surprised. Tamela too reclaimed her life by reconnecting with her own joy. There are many stories like these, but we sometimes think they only happen to someone else or are a fluke.
The quote from Dr. Ciaponni really said it all. What if there is much more to the healing effects of joy than we have been led to believe?
Daily we are bombarded with huge amounts of ever changing information about how to “fix” our bodies, most of which are of the “no gain, no pain” mentality. Ugh – no wonder we don’t follow that advice. We don’t hear very much about changing our emotions in order to change our health.
What happened to body, mind, and spirit? Somehow we have lost being whole humans and are only seen as parts.
Some years ago in England, a group launched a “Happiness Project “ in an effort to help reduce and prevent illness. Participants who enrolled in the project were subjected to thorough scientific tests to measure the results. They found that being happier actually changes your brain for the better in many powerful ways. Wow!
And since my brain can use all the help I can give it, I have nothing to lose and my mind to gain, or gain back, by being happier.
At Harvard, the most poplar course in the whole school is on the psychology of happiness. (And you thought going to Harvard was just about how to be president!). The instructor, Dr.Tal Ben-Sharar, wrote a book called “Happier,” about what he had learned from the class. Now I’m not smart enough to get into Harvard, but I’m smart enough to learn from them, and you are too
What a radical idea …being happier really makes us healthier and it is much more fun that sweating and spinach!
The more I learn about the connection between happiness and health, the more excited I am to find out more. I’m not saying that I know a lot yet, but it makes so much sense to me that I am very excited to share what I have found out. After all, we know a lot about how unhappy emotions can make us feel bad – why not learn more about what we can do easily to have more positive emotions? And besides, being a very bossy woman, I like having more control over my health and my life. Maybe you can relate?
The Health, Hope, & Happiness workshops coming up will provide a place to learn more about this mind/body connection and will be fun at the same time. What’s not to like?
As for my personal journey, I’m realizing that just adding a“Daily Dose of Delight” is becoming as important as taking my vitamins.
It is something to look forward to, and it’s free.
And when someone asks me what I‘m doing, I will just say,
“I’m taking my medication,” and then I will laugh out loud!
SNOW DAY— GROW DAY?
Have you ever gotten a gift that you didn’t know exactly what to do with? You know it could be useful if you could just figure it out.
That’s just what I felt when I awoke to a snow filled world on Monday.
The world had stopped…
Of course I had heard it was coming but the reality that the world had “stopped” was different.
Suddenly I had a whole day or more open with all my plans put on hold. No places to go and nothing to do. It really felt strange but somehow exciting. What could I do with this gift of time?
I thought about all the many times I had complained about having too much to do and all the times I had wished I could go back to bed. How often had I said that I didn’t have time to do something? I have often felt like I didn’t have enough time.
Yet when “free time “was given to me, I was a little lost. But on vacation. I could easily do little all day and feel great about it. Why was this different? I know I could fill it up with household chores but that didn’t seem right. It felt like a time to do something different that would mark this special; not just marking time until I could get back to life as usual.
This was a gift that I wasn’t sure how to unwrap.
And then I remembered a friend who was a high level manger who regularly scheduled a “Pajama Day”.
She didn’t get out of her jammies all day and did only things that were relaxing- no guilt & no chores. She said those days made it possible to continue with her otherwise hectic life.
So what would it be like to have a “mini-vacation’? How about a nap at 11:00 or lunch of cookies at 3:00? What if I only did things that felt good even if I was “wasting time “?
What a radical idea!
So a little awkwardly, I proceeded. Some of the ”shoulds” lingered but they left when I got excited about doing something different even if was to just prove I could. It was amazing how easily my day flowed as I just asked myself. ”What so you feel like doing now?” Some of the answers were surprising like when I decided to watch some daytime TV…but all opened up some pocket of permission At the end of the day, I felt really good…renewed and relaxed and ready to make this a habit.
So now part of my New Years Intentions is to have more “Snow Days/Grow Days” even if it summer!
I think I’ll buy some new pajamas to make them official.
The Gift of Fog Woman
In August, I took an amazing trip on a ferry up the coast of Alaska. We stopped at some of the small towns along the way and I became fascinated with the tradition of totem poles. They are stunningly beautiful but also tell stories about culture.
I learned about a totem named for
Fog Woman, a mythical woman who ushers in salmon with the fog to feed her people and keep them safe.
I decided that I wanted to find a small replica of the Fog Woman totem to take back with me as a special symbol. I found a small hand carved totem and now it sits now on my desk. Little did I know how powerful that would soon be for me!
Tired and a little down when I returned, I figured this is to be expected after such a trip. When my fatigue and low mood did not change after a couple of weeks, I became concerned. I also felt like I was really wandering around in the proverbial “fog “.
(So o.k., maybe I am usually like that but this was a lot, even for me!)
As I explored the roots of this feeling, I realized I felt like a salmon swimming upstream, and it was very tiring. I wrote it off to September being a busy time for me and kept going. Eventually, I had a routine physical exam which showed nothing wrong. Yet, my inner self whispered a different message.
Finally paying attention to the inner voice, I consulted a wonderful holistic practitioner who said, “Your mind, heart and spirit are so strong that you don’t realize that your body cannot always keep up.” As soon as she said this, I knew it was true and was exactly what I had needed to hear. I had been getting these messages but didn’t want to hear them. At some level it was a relief because she confirmed what my body had been telling me. Now I was ready to listen.
I remembered that about 3 years ago I felt I wanted to to slow down a bit and play more. But when the recession and the accompanying fear hit, I ramped back up and just kept pushing. Clearly now my body was saying that I need to go back to my original plan and re-prioritize how to spend my energy.
Amazing that a small wooden image had the perfect message for me! Fog Woman showed that the gifts of abundance can come out of a fog. I don’t need to always “push the river” and be afraid that I won’t have what I need. Wonderful things come to me when I relax and operate not out of fear and scarcity but out of peace and reflection. Look what gifts I was given from this trip.
And yes, I am a little less “foggy” now …back to my normal level anyway and am feeling much renewed and restored.
Who knew a vacation could do so much…I think I’ll plan another one soon.
ITS A DOG’S LIFE
I’ve been so fortunate that for most of my life I have had dogs. I have learned a lot from them.
But recently an experience with a dog taught me a lot about health….which
reminds me once again that there are gifts in everything.
Often I take my two rescue mutts to a large field where they can run off leash and meet other dogs. A few weeks before I had chatted with a young woman named Cindy & met her year-old Boxer “Max.” Cindy was a first time dog owner & was excited about having a dog. We talked about dog behavior and I told her of some of my “dog learning” experiences.
A few weeks later I was at the field and saw Cindy and a guy I assumed was her boyfriend as they were very involved with each other. However they were not very involved with Max.
Max was running around and getting further away from them. Cindy would occasionally pull her attention away from her boyfriend and call Max to “come.” When Max did not come, her calls became increasingly shrill.
She eventually came in my direction so I took the opportunity to offer her a dog treat to entice Max with, explaining that was a way I had taught my dogs to come. Cindy told me emphatically that Max didn’t deserve a treat, as he was being “bad.”
Finally Max did come to her and she began to hit him and tell him he was a bad dog. I was very upset to see this and felt I needed to intervene. I said that I knew she was frustrated but he would not want to come if he was punished when he did come. Of course she didn’t pay any attention to me and hauled Max away.
With a very heavy heart, I saw that the relationship between Cindy and Max was headed for trouble and possible abuse. And probably the pound for Max.
Later that day I was reminded of the relationship between Cindy and Max when I saw an article about exercise were the emphasis was on the ”No Pain, No gain” school of health.
It occurred to me that many of us have the same type of relationship to our bodies that I saw between Cindy to Max.
That is, we ignore our bodies until they don’t perform like we think they should and then we punish them and tell them they are “bad.” We treat our bodies like they need to be punished with brutal exercise and deprivation diets. We don’t take the time to learn much about what they need and we don’t pay attention to the “messages” we get about what makes our bodies feel good. So it is no surprise that our relationship to our bodies is one of frustration and confusion.
So I am going to suggest that we adopt a new view of health
starting with the motto:
“Your Body is Your Best Friend”
And the remembering these simple D.O.G ideas:
D= don’t rely on fad diets or quick fixes,
good relationships take time & care.
Do “check in” regularly to see where
your body is and where it is going.
O= Own that your body is unique and will
willingly tell you what makes it thrive.
Do you need more sleep than is?
“average”? Do you like walks more
than treadmills?
Find out what works for YOU, not
what “experts tell you
G= Give your body the care and respect
it deserves.Walks, lots of play,
good food and loving attention
make dogs and bodies thrive.
Treat your body as well as you would
your Best Friend…because it
really is.
Be the person your dog thinks you are!
